44 and 23

Friday, January 30, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

I woke up and it's raining. Heaven must be mourning. The past few days reminded me that time given to us is limited but our ability to be kind, be generous, and be prayerful is not. Today, we commemorate the National Day of Mourning for the 44 fallen soldiers who gave their lives in honor of our country. May God grant them eternal rest.

Heartbreaking as it is, the sorrow we are feeling can't compare to the pain the bereaved families are going through. Even our sincerest condolences and sympathies won't be able to suppress that. The best we can do is offer them our prayers - that they get through this very vicious time of grief in one piece and stronger in faith. I offer them this song. God is always with them.

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain that you've been feeling, 
It's just the dark before the morning

On the other hand, the story of our lives can be compared to a book that has so many chapters in it. And just because we've read one bad paragraph doesn't mean it's the end of the book. The rain this morning could also mean a blessing. Because today, we also celebrate life. And I am so thankful to have found a friend that's thoughtful and sweet like Jamie. And like the pouring rain, may God shower you with blessings and grant you your heart's desires. And I wish you good health, happiness and lots of love to come your way. Happy happy birthday Jam! God gave you this gift of life, live it well. :)

Here's a song. It doesn't really fit you. But it's awesome, it's one of my favorites, and you've just turned 23. Haha. :)

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

Acquiring Glenda's 1337 mspaint skillz. Ahwihwihwi :)
#yurushi #katsudon #monosodiumglutamate #foodtripsaroxas #rainbowkwek2 #strawberrybuko

This is Spartaaa!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

I just realized that I am living a life where I am in a constant quest for an answer to the undying question: what have I gotten myself into? Aside from my insurmountable thirst for adventure, I am as of now juggling three designing jobs. Needless to say, today, I just found myself asking the very same question after acknowledging the fact that I can actually make the ends meet even without having two more jobs.

Not that I'm complaining. In fact, I am loving it because I can still handle just everything gracefully. Meaning, I still find time for me and my obsession for books, the little one, the boyfriend, the family, all other important people in my life a.k.a friends, all at the same time still able to chug down a beer or two.

I am turning 30 this year. And lately, I have been contemplating about those bad decisions I made and stood up to; those bitter, stupid, or unwanted memories that's now making me my laugh my ass off; and of course, the most amazing experiences of a decade that is soon going to end. However I spent my 20's, it all boils down to one thing: I have been so carefree just on every aspect of my life, especially (deep sigh) financially.

Ten years ago, I thought by the time I hit my 30's, I'd be a successful nurse, celebrating white Christmas in the city that never sleeps, churning on money for travels here and there, and living on some dainty home surrounded with white picket fences. Hahaha. Yes, you hear me laughing at the younger Sarah who took the Nursing course halfheartedly.

I don't regret anything though. I am actually thankful that things happened the way they did (yes, that huge, sharp, and not to mention, risky turn from a nurse to a web/software designer). But the fact remains that life goes on and we're not getting any younger and the expenses are not getting any cheaper. So now I'm thinking forward, looking beyond, onward to greener albeit challenging pastures and make the most of it the best I can, lest I want to render my bank account stagnant.

I know it's a bit late for me to set long-term goals, establish financial stability and all that jazz. Because like what others say, I should have done this during my carefree 20's. On the contrary, it's never too late to start that long and winding road to financial freedom either. I refuse to be stuck in a rut. I refuse not to be challenged. And I refuse not to make money when in fact there are so many ways that I can. I've got goals which are (cough) less ambitious. You know, just gunning for an early retirement, have my own home, a car, and travel while I still can yadda yadda. Haha. But really, I just want a good life for my future family.

I am taking baby steps. I live within my means - which is a good thing and that's defintely a great start. And the next step? Earn more than what I am earning right now. Hence, the three jobs. And the best thing about this? Praise the high heavens because I don't really consider these jobs a job. How's that for a start?
Excellent quotes by Warren Buffet
Quotes to live by. :)
This is the time when I wish I am like my mother who is so frugal and has this knack for handling money wisely. But for now, a good nudge will do. I need a mentor, a guide a.k.a someone who'd give me a quick slap at the back when I begin splurging for the unnecessary again or when I am losing the battle against laziness. Ummm... Lab? Help? Haha :P

Note to self: Sa ngayon, ebooks muna. Kain parin sa karinderya, pero yung mas murang ulam na. At kung pwede, wag na malate sa opisina. Diyan ka magsimula, Sarah.

Pwned

Saturday, January 24, 2015 4 Comments A+ a-

I just woke up. It's 9 am and I slept at half past six in the morning. Sweet, isn't it?

In case you are wondering (as if somebody is), I didn't get enough sleep because I had a great time getting whooped in the ass. Haha. Kidding aside, Jan and I played Counter Strike, DotA, and some-racing-game-that-I-can't-remember-the-name earlier (yep, at dawn). It is something that we haven't done together yet. So, why not?

It was really fun. Although apparently, I got owned. Yep. Geez. All this time I thought I was so good at this. Haha. I would have made that not-being-able-to-play-for-centuries an excuse for my fidgety hands and lack of strategy but Jan can use the same excuse and still win. Oh, bother! On the second thought, it would be a shame (on his end) if I'm better than him at something like this, right? So yeah. I am, therefore, still excused.

The other night, Jan and I were talking over dinner about me writing a fiction story. Today when I woke up, I had a beautiful plot in mind that I immediately grabbed a notebook and a pen and started scribbling. I had this particular moment that I felt I am able to write a story. But it came momentarily. And poof! I think I just snapped back to my senses and realized I just had almost half of the page filled with something we can consider gibberish. Geez Sarah, you can't even complete a sentence after the most cliched Once upon a time line to save your life. Write a story, my arse. Haha.

I guess, I'll just have to go back writing a story about how Jan whooped my ass earlier in game. Or not. Well, it's not yet the end of the world. So I'll just look for other things - anything that can tell who's better than who - that I can beat him to it. Bleh! #noretreatnosurrender

Folks, weekend just landed. Have a great one! :)

Suicide

Monday, January 19, 2015 22 Comments A+ a-

It's not what you think it is. But I believe I just died for about 3-4 seconds before I realized I just conquered my fear.

Yesterday, my friends and I decided to go to Kaputian at Samal Island to, well, do that cliff jump. Getting there is just easy. You just have to follow that concrete road and look for the sign that says Acantilado, and bam! You're there.

What Makes Alunsina Handbound Journal Special?

Friday, January 16, 2015 22 Comments A+ a-

This post is a little bit late. Not that I'm getting lazy but I am still at lost for words to what I am about to blog. You see, the boyfriend surprised me with a journal. And it is not just a journal. It is an Alunsina Handbound Book!
Alunsina Handbound Books Journal
Now, for everyone who doesn't know what an Alunsina Handbound Journal is and why I make it sound so special, allow me to give a brief introduction.

English only, please!

Monday, January 12, 2015 2 Comments A+ a-

I have no qualms about people bragging their gizmos, cash, or whatnot. After all, if they are rich, then they're entitled to it. But what irks me is when bragging is done where the masa thrives. The jeepney for example. And unfortunately, I just encountered such while commuting on my way to work.

Aside from the blatant and haughty display of "elitism", it was the language used to talk casually that caught my attention. Just to make it clear, I have nothing against people who talk in English. But speaking in English when talking to a fellow Pinoy inside a jeepney in a rowdy and hilaw na conyo manner? You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding me.

As much as I don't want to give a f*ck about it, they're like a black hole and I got sucked in. Two ladies were sitting in front of me and talking atrociously without considering that other people might actually exist around them. For a moment, I thought an unforeseen typhoon just hit the city and we're being swept away by the strong winds. Sobrang lakas ng dating, dinaig pa ang bagyong Yolanda. I've always thought I will only hear something like this in posh coffee shops or back in the university I have attended to, to which, as a matter of fact, are pretty much tolerable than this.

This jeepney scene is just so unacceptable. Who the hell are they trying to impress here? Seriously, it's not cool. Perhaps it would have been forgivable if they talked about it at Starbucks or somewhere classy where they can swagger and flaunt all they want. But still, not cool.
Funny (and pathetic) thing is, while I thought I have to endure an hour inadvertently listening to their annoying bravado, I was actually enjoying it. My mind was giving side comments here and there about their trying-hard accent and those awful English mixed with Tagalog words while they talked about what they would like to believe as charmed lives. Yep, I was silently mocking them. Call me a horrible person but I can't help it. Can you? In all honesty, I am not good in speaking English (and I don't have that accent) but at least I know just how, when, and where to use it. And I definitely use it properly.

Believe me, I don't hate the elite class and the hell I care about their flamboyance or manner of speaking -  they're entitled to it. In fact, I have a lot of friends who are really rich. Filthy rich. But never in my life have I heard them brag about their luxurious lives nor have I heard them speak in English in an irksome conyo way. But pretentious wannabes? That's a different story. It's no wonder why society can be hard on people who loves to climb the social ladder sometimes. It's just a natural reflex to scoff at something like that, isn't it? 

Confessions Vol. 4: I Am a Big Backstreet Boys Fan

Friday, January 9, 2015 2 Comments A+ a-

I still refuse to believe I am fangirling and actually writing about my teenage fascination to boybands. For holy molly macaroni's sake, I am twenty-freakin-nine! 98 Degrees, The Moffatts, Westlife, Boyzone, Hanson, N'Sync, and last but not the least, Backstreet Boys, anyone? I've been singing my heart out to the lyrics: I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did as long as you love me. Please don't judge me. Haha. But I hope I made you sing that song on your mind. And I hope it dwells on you for a while like how it dwelt on me that I am as of the moment listening to almost every song of the Backstreet Boys.


Every cloud has a silver lining

Saturday, January 3, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-

My life, just like any normal human being is far from those fairy tales read to us when we were young. Heck, even fairy tales have shitty beginnings. I have my own issues. I am dealing with my own demons. I have my own burden. And just like any human being, I get hurt no matter how many times I tell myself I am strong enough to deal with shit.

It didn't even have to take a week for the new year to throw me some nasty piece of shit. Yep, this post will have a lot of shit in it. And I apologize if this is getting too offensive. But you see, this is just staying true to what I firmly believe. Life, indeed, is so full of tae. Deal with it.

Back in college, I have always been known as happy-go-lucky or misjudged as walang pakialam. I am the most sound lady a stage play would have. When everybody backstage is either panicking or close to fainting, I am just so relaxed that people will have to tell me to do something because it looks like I do not care at all. So I pretend to worry or I fake being tensed to show I'm one with them. Haha. But trust me, I care. Well, aside from the fact that I have already mastered the art and science of grace under pressure, I believe I am generally optimistic.

I don't linger too much on worry, pain, or perhaps grief for it to fall under "depressive" category. Yes, I get hurt. And I cry. Although most of the time I deny it. Kay astig lagi daw ko. Hahaha. But I have my own ways of coping, and it's working pretty well for me. I pray, I really do. Then I write about it. Or if by chance I got a few bucks to spare, I shop.

When people tell you shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist, believe it because it's true. The only difference is, I don't shop for shoes or bags or clothes or whatever it is that make women go gaga. I came home with four books yesterday and now I'm okay like I've just taken a Prozac. Just like that. If there's one thing I've learned from the past, it is the thought that there's no use crying over spilled milk.
Tsamba finds! Thank you, Jan! You always know what to look for when skimming if not hundreds but a thousand books at BookSale. ;)
But to tell you honestly, when coping from shit, I do not always do it alone. I have people around me. People who tell me to look on the bright side. People who remind me who I am and what I am capable of doing. People who will just be there. As much as I want to be on my own, it's good to rely on people sometimes.

I got through 2015's first shit and I know there will be a lot more, bigger and stinkier than this. Currently, I am reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and as how Stephen Chbosky said it, there are other people who have it a lot worse. Not that I'm glad, but I am thankful that right now I am not one of those other people. :)

I blinked...

Thursday, January 1, 2015 0 Comments A+ a-


And just like that, 2014 is up.

A lot of things happened. Some are bad. Most are great. No matter, I will always be thankful for every memory, good or bad, because it made me what I am today: wiser, bolder, happier than ever.

I was supposed to draft my New Year's Resolutions last night before the countdown begins. But then I came into my senses and laughed about the idea. I am good at making resolutions but I am bad at keeping them anyway, so what's the point?