I'm not really in the mood to write about anything right now. But since our Seagull Mountain Resort was such an amazing adventure, it would be a crime if I let the days pass without sharing it. Because despite the deep sh*t I am into, I believe this is one of the best days of my life. :)

Seagull Mountain Resort Waterfalls

Earlier, we played a game "Catch the Killer", where players can be a killer, a healer, or just a normal citizen. The citizens will have to investigate and guess who the killer is (and we can only guess by observing their reaction, what they say, or how they act - it's more like a psychological game). I won three times in a row of being a killer. Not that I have a mind of a killer. But they said I have this game face on, a poker face. They can never tell.

I guess that's what I'm really good at. You know, hiding how I truly feel. People see me happy. And I know I just feign it. I can never lie to myself. When alone, I drown in tears and pretend like everything's okay the next day. I may seem to look happy but I still feel that sting, a pang of fear, uncertainty, anger, and remorse all rolled into one. Beyond the laughs I feel pain. And not even the loudest laughter can suppress it, not from me at least anyway.

So this is how it feels when you've just given up. This is how a heartbreak feels. The pain is just so real. How am I surviving this? Do you know the line just fake it until you make it? Well, I think  it's working pretty well for me. And I hope I can get through this in one piece.

Anyway, sorry for the short pathetic post. Shit happens and I just needed to vent.

P.S. I'm not a pathetic-emo-looking-damsel-in-distress, I still flash a smile despite being in the pits, and that for sure is the only thing that's remaining genuine right now. :)

I remember the time during a long bus ride from Gensan to Davao, I had this great conversation with a friend. And among all the things we have talked about, there's this one line he uttered that struck me the most which now became one of my life's mantra: Look on the bright side.

I've heard this line a thousand times before but I never really took it by heart until I'm the one sinking in deep shit. It got me thinking, why I linger on the negative when I can just look at the positive side and head towards that direction?

Yes I know, it's easier said than done. But there's no harm in trying, right? So to fully embrace that line and learn how to turn lemons into lemonade, I'm starting with small steps that will eventually lead me to see lifein a positive way—which you may find helpful too. So here's to a good one:

Ever since I became a mom, I have inadvertently alienated myself from all forms of fun. I was reluctant to nightlife parties, I've always said NO to barkada outings, booze became a thing of the past, and the list goes on. Family-work-chores-wash-rinse-repeat. Yes, I was that lifeless. The only ember that's keeping my life aglow is my son.

Life was quite easy (and bland) back then that boredom became my comfort zone. But I guess I've seen what I am becoming, a wallflower - unsociable and almost non existent to many people, that I decided to step out of it and become human once again.

My new job, or my officemates slash new found friends rather, have opened a new portal for me. The life I never had in the last four years is slowly coming back. And I am already seeing the way I once was: a free spirited kid.

I started to read a new epic fantasy novel the other night and I can say that it is an awesome book because the first few pages held me captive. The only thing that's keeping me from turning the pages is the fact that I still have work in the morning. Bummer.

First, I would like to thank the slight, almost unnoticeable pain in my jaw that I felt when I got home tonight. I realized that I have been laughing and smiling most of the time for the whole day as my officemates and I talked about the wacky and catastrophic episodes during our company's team building that happened just last Saturday. Well, we all had a blast and we definitely have something fun to talk about. Two days, and we still can't get over it.

Second, who wouldn't love it when one of your bosses comes over your desk to give thumbs up and commends you for a job well done? It feels oh so great!

And lastly, an officemate brought a box full of mango squares and it was my first time to eat one. I'm not really into sweets, but this one takes the cake. I got one happy tummy, yay!

This Monday has really been good to me... it's definitely a triple treat. September has been awesome. It started well and it ended well too... Thank you Lord! :)

Everyone who knew me and those who read my blog know that I've been working at home ever since I got my first job. July this year, I was quite devastated when I heard the news that the company I work with (and came to love) has to put me from full-time to contractual work since sales and AU dollar rate have been declining. Meaning, I only have work to do and get paid when the need arises.

It's actually the biggest heartbreak of my career because: One, my bosses are really nice. You will seldom see nice (and forgiving) foreign bosses like them. Two, I had a great team. A project manager and developers that I can collaboratively work flawlessly with, beat that. Three, it's the highest paying company I've ever been to that my salary as a designer can equal to that of a developer (or even higher compared to other companies).

I admit it, I know it's shallow, but the last one bit me the hardest.

September marks the month of transition. Well, to most Pinoys, the start of BER months mean a transition from the ordinary days to the festivities of Christmas. As early as the first day of September some friends are already posting Christmasy statuses on Facebook. So if you're getting a Christmas greeting in social media as early as the first of September, we have not lost our minds. It's just a culture thing.

Well, yeah, I feel the transition. But this September begins a bigger transition in my life. Starting tomorrow, I will be a WAHM (work-at-home-mom) no more. Yep, you heard that right. I will no longer be waking up at the heat of the sun on my face, turn on the laptop and work on my jammies. Starting tomorrow I will have a new routine which includes dressing smartly, beating the rush hour, getting stuck in the traffic, going up the elevator, and checking in.

For months I've been going back and forth the sites Share Your Shelf and Book Shelf Porn.  I really enjoy looking at other people's bookshelf. They fascinate me. And I easily fall in love with bookshelves no matter how organized and disorganized they are. Finding new reads, seeing what others read, what books we have in common, how one organizes his shelf... I think it's orgasmic. I believe that is every book lover's nature. Right? So, I thought I would like to share and bring you on a virtual tour to my own bookshelf.

I don't really organize or arrange books in particular way. Although, I do rearrange my books (for hours!) from time to time because I find it comforting. Mind you, I am a very messy person, but when it comes to my shelf, OCD always kicks in. hahaha. Although I was never one in the first place. It's like some OCD inducing bug bites me whenever I get near my shelf. LOL.