First of all, damn I have got to think of a killer opening line for my blog post... "First of all" just doesn't cut it. But yeah, first of all, I'd like to congratulate myself for totally nailing that 299-peso ($6) dress and made it look like Marilyn Monroe's iconic flying skirt.

I have a lot to blog in mind. I would have loved to write about how the political brouhaha has blown out of proportion. But I won't. I'll leave that to the social media people who are more "active" with politics. I just want to stay away from my pa-deep thoughts for a while and write about anything shallow and mundane. It has been quite stressful lately. Something serious is the last thing I would need today.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to start a new routine that involves shutting off the alarm at 4 o'clock in the morning, exercising, and dressing up smartly. And I just realized I haven't gotten a new wardrobe for the last 2 years. I don't remember the last time I actually bought something new for myself (except for that hiking shoes) without including last Friday's mishap when I bought a white dress to wear for the Davao Bloggers Society White Party. Yikes!

This blog post is a perfect example how politics can eat up a large amount of my time and energy. I can't help it. Philippine politics is intriguing, dramatic, and at the same time entertaining. But it is equally detestable as well.

I hate politics but I have got to admit that I am addicted to it. We are addicted to it. I think everybody is. Even our religious leaders couldn't help but get themselves involved with politics that they spend more time on it than on God. Don't you find it amazing how politics can make you hate it enough to keep you involved, interested, and informed? I am still bemused.

First of all, I have to say I am not a political beast, and there is no way I intend this to be a political post. But sure, I have my moments.

With all these political hullabaloos, especially involving our dear Mayor Duterte, it's no surprise Davao City has also been dragged into heated and intriguing arguments. Kesyo hindi naman daw Davao ang safest city in the world. Kesyo nabubuhay sa takot sa otoridad ang mga tao dito. Kesyo kill joy si Digong pero sumusunod pa rin tayo. Kesyo para tayong creeps na sunod-sunoran at nagpapauto sa batas na nagtatanggal sa ating karapatang makapaglibang (oo na, madaming bawal dito). Kesyo ganito, ganyan, at marami pang iba.

I am sick of hearing and reading negative and wrong comments made about my hometown, Davao City. I am tired of telling people to come to Davao so we can prove them wrong. With the power of social media combined with all this political drama where everybody is "smart" and has an opinion to everything, it is inevitable that we'd be thrown sticks, stones, shit and all.

I should have written this post the moment I knew this blog won a major award in Bloggys 2015. A few bloggers have published a word of thanks on the same date after bagging their awards and I could have done it too knowing I wasn't actually doing anything the night they announced the winners. But from the moment Jan broke the news to me, I fell short for words. I had to wait a day or two for the elating feeling to subside because my vocabulary became limited to "oh", "my", and "gosh", and only in that particular order.

Honestly, I do not know what to say anymore. I believe I have already said everything before - from the moment I got nominated to the time I made it to the voting stage and when I finally became one of the finalists. I never thought I'd have to write another post for this. I don't want to make it sound like I'm giving a speech in The Oscars (albeit the feeling might be pretty much the same thing), so I'll keep this short and simple. This may sound like a broken record, but I'm going to say it again anyway...THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I guess, no matter how many Thank Yous I write, it will never be enough to express how grateful I am to every single one of you reading my blog, my family and friends who never get tired of clicking the links I shamelessly feed on Facebook, and to Jan who always believes in me. You fuel my desire to write, be better, and make a difference. I know more blogs deserve your time than mine, that's why I am truly honored. Again, thank you!

Life Is So Full of Tae won Best Personal/Diary Blog in #Bloggys2015 Philippine Blogging Awards. So as promised, this is yours truly twerking it (even) better than Miley:

Finally found a way to post a "video" of me twerking without giving you nightmares. I hope you guys didn't think I won just because I said I'd do a twerking vid if I win, did you? Haha.

First of all, I really don't know what to say.

I am still waiting for my brain to fully process my thoughts and turn them into words. Because right now, my mind's clouded with emotions that the words just might not come out right [insert inaudible words, shriek, and mild and stifled sobs here]. And I also suspect ninjas have been cutting onions in front of me again.

But it's not what you think it is. No drama, I promise. Earlier today, I was in for a huge surprise because.... drumroll please...

Things don't always work the way we want it to be.

Because life was never meant to be perfect. Shit happens. There will always be those days in your life when you have been wronged or have made decisions you regret. Days when you've poured too much of your time, effort, and invested a lot of emotion on something - a relationship, a job, or anything you've committed yourself into - and yet, things don't come your way. There are days you'd feel down, disappointed, or devastated. And days when slumping into the dumps felt more comforting than anything else.

WARNING: "Adult" language, although not necessary, will be used a lot in this post.

While I was taking a dump, I just realized that my presence in the internet is becoming large that I am now running the risk of being exposed to one of its dark sides: the snide comments and personal attacks.

These keyboard warriors, or maybe trolls, could be anywhere - lurking and waiting for the moment to pounce you with their filthy language and wild insults. If you aren't smart enough, you'd fall victim to their relentless barking, take the bait and latch yourself into the perpetrator's mouth, and you become emotionally consumed before you even know it. Well, if I didn't know better I would have gladly fed them by responding to their audacity - which is often fueled by the power vested upon by their anonymity - to give meaning to their life even if it sounds pathetic. But I realized I just ran out of fucks to give.

When I started blogging, I was only a college student who thought life was so full of shit (although I still think it is) that I blogged about how shitty and unfair life can get after stepping on a bubble gum with your brand new shoes. Half of the time I was ranting. And half of it, I was trying to make myself look good. My voice was soft, quiet, and dampened back then. I wasn't comfortable being myself. So I wrote only of the things I wanted the people to read because I was ashamed and afraid. I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid that people I don't even know would hate me. I was afraid that they may see me less of a person by my choice of words. I was careful with anything I wrote that hitting the publish button was a challenge.

Years passed and life became shittier than it was. It became so murky that I couldn't help but type my words to let the fog out and have some sense of clarity. It was hard for me to open up. Questions began to surface when I started showing the profound and "less edited" version of me. Questions that begin with what if. It's pretty amazing how the simple and innocent words What and If - which are perfectly harmless on their own - can become really catastrophic when combined. It's like a bomb that when dropped would make me go back scampering inside my shell. What if people will judge me for this? What if they'll think I'm like this or that? What if it's not good enough? It was a war between me and my inhibitions. A struggle to survive the pangs of truth.