Keeping It Small and Real - Life is so full of tae!

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Keeping It Small and Real

I hardly got any sleep last night. Thanks to the incessant barking of the dog next door, I spent the next 2 hours of dawn contemplating about my existence. At 6am, I was already up and turned my computer on. I turned to this blog, browsed the archive, read through some posts, and just realized I showed the world how juvenile my writing skills are.

But more than that, it showed how my voice changed over time. Back then, I honestly didn't think people would actually read my blog. Most of the time, I was just spilling goo, glory, and more goo. I know the last thing I would want to happen is to immortalize those shitty days in the form of a blog entry that may never be deleted (everything you put online is there forever, even after it's been deleted, jsyk). But I guess, I am happy I did that. Because the blog we used to know is dead.

Social media killed it. And sadly, I took part of the murder. To be honest, I had high hopes for this blog. I wanted to have a cult following, get sponsors, and earn from it. So from being that blogger who talked about how I feel and what I was up to, I became that blogger who writes about stuff people like. I used to tell stories about my travels. But now, I write about the things people look for: itinerary, budget, notable places, tips, and what not. I still write about myself, except, if not all, most of it are curated.

Well, it did pay off. My page likes increased from a measly hundred to more than three thousand (I know it's not that much, but still). Traffic and engagement was pretty good as people started commenting and giving their thoughts on  my blog. I'm close to hitting a million visits. Alexa ranking has gone up by millions. Brands started tapping me, I get gifts from the mails, I enjoy all-expense paid trips, and I receive exclusive invitations from time to time. I know I am not exactly a household name but with all these perks, I am definitely doing fine.

Then this dawned on me:

After Jan and I talked about an influencer who skyrocketed to fame and made an awful and painful landing, he reminded me about not acting too big for my boots when I become famous (as if naman sisikat. not even in my dreams. haha). 

These brands and sponsorship have indeed changed the blogging game. Everyone wants paid posts, sponsorship, and whatnot.  This does not exempt me, of course. And the sad truth is, quality content is treated as unimportant. And a sadder truth reveals that  authenticity has become irrelevant. Because the saddest truth is, the brands gauge your value by the number of your followers. And just like any other blogger, I struggle to make everything look good.

Not that it's a bad thing. But honestly, I lost the essence there. Maybe I'm just itching for drama. Or maybe this is just my obnoxious way of saying that just I miss writing shit. But above all, I miss writing about those little things that truly made my day. Like how I squealed the moment I heard one of my favorite books made its way to the tv screen. [I guess I can only prepare myself again to the frustrating world of book-to-motion-picture but I can also hope that the books do not get fucked up one day.]

Or how our first (informal) driving lessons went. [Our friend, Leonid, offered to give us driving lessons and I think it went pretty well. Jan was so natural. All those racing games he played on mobile before definitely paid off. Haha. While I, on the other hand, is just thankful my passengers are still alive after taking control of the wheel. I learned how to make turns, how not to break abruptly, and how not to panic. But I also learned that I have this urge to step on the gas and that is such a bad thing.]

Or how upset I was because my cat isn't acting like a cat. [The laser pointer does not amuse him.]

Or how disappointing the ratio of 711's bacon to rice is. [1/4 lang ng isang strip ng bacon. Hui! Scaaaam!]

You see, I wanted to talk about stuff that people don't care about. Stuff that do not make sense. Stuff that matter to me. Because at the end of the day, it's the memories I made that should be kept here and not the stuff I think people will like.

Blogging is changing. And so am I. But in case I get lost and contemplate on my existence again, I'm going back to where this all started. This blog was born out of my desire to keep my memories alive. So I guess, I can just be another mediocre blogger nobody really gives a crap about and I know I'd still be happy about it.


  1. First of all, I am a silent reader of your blog since, way long ago hahaha. I am a fan. Second, I love how you put things into words, especially your thoughts about this topic. Kinda remind me of the tag line of a Soft drink commercial "Magpakatotoo ka, Sista/Broda!" Your post is so true to me. Igo jud kaayo ko ani, and am sure to your avid readers too. Sakto kaayo.

  2. Avid reader here too! True, I miss your kwentos. Yung mga blog mo na kapag wala kayong makain sa adventures ninyo, yung mga kapalpakan na nangyayari. I love reading your stories like that but I still read your blogs because I like the way you write. :)

  3. Silent reader here since "change is not coming". Keep blogging sarah! I love reading your stories.

  4. Hello everyone! Thank you so much for sticking around! I appreciate it. Really. Kahit na minsan wala nang sense mga sinusulat ko. No words can express how grateful I am. Again, THANK YOU!

  5. avid reader here also. love reading your blog girl!

  6. late comment but avid reader here! keep blogging po!!!