Sunday, March 30, 2014

A fork on the road

Right now, I feel I am irrationally attracted to someone. And it is not just a mere form of sexual or romantic attraction. I know it runs deeper than that. There's a connection. A strong one at that. It feels like there's something in my core that inevitably, irresistibly, and inexplicably pushes me to connect with that person.

And that connection is the reason why from being a risk-taker I became too cautious because losing that connection is what scares me the most. On the other hand, if I don't take risks, I might end up losing what's already there.

I hate dilemmas. This is kinda hard. All my life I thought choosing what dress to wear is the hardest thing to decoide on. haha

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Embracing the ordinary

While commuting on my way home, I caught someone looking at me with a hint of smile in his eyes. Then I realized maybe he caught me in deep thought while staring blankly in an open space and then suddenly smiling from time to time. I may have looked crazy at that moment, but I can't help it, there are just simple things that can make me smile, and even just the thought of it can already make me happy.

If there's one thing life has taught me, it is to be thankful for the simplest and even the most ordinary things in life.

There's really no need to sprinkle on a little fancy or throw in flowery words to experience the extraordinary. Ordinary things can really be awesome sometimes.

Sharing ordinary moments with someone, like for example, having a simple but intimate conversation under a tree, or simply blurting out the same set of words simultaneously (this is a rare phenomenon and it is something to smile about hahaha), or simply talking about random things over a cup of coffee, or a simple holding of hands that can send shivers down your spine -- these are the kind of moments you (or I, for that matter) would love to hold, cherish and would tend to reminisce over and over.

I believe in simple acts, simple words, simple everything because they are, after all, the genuine ones; and nothing can beat something that is real. :)

Thursday, March 6, 2014

HashtagNgilngig

Ecstatic.

That's exactly how I am feeling right now (and the past few days, of course!).

I never believed in chemistry (although it was one of my favorite subjects before). Chemistry, spark, compatibility, really? I was skeptic until I was the one who experienced it first-hand. Funny thing is, at 28, I never thought I'd feel this way. You know, just like the way you felt during those teeny weeny years when you got butterflies on your tummy. But this time, I know it is something more than that. Something more profound.

Bliss. And it is genuine.

Yeah, it feels good. No, it feels insanely great. And to say that, is an understatement.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Workadas

I feel so blessed to have such friends who'd be there for you through thick and thin, have seen your worst, to whom you can be absolutely stupid with, and the only ones who has the license to punch or slap you at the back and you know it is still okay. I do have a lot of friends, but only three cliques are really close to my heart to which I consider my family:

Friday, December 20, 2013

Seagull Mountain Resort, Bu-Da

I'm not really in the mood to write about anything right now. But since our Seagull Mountain Resort was such an amazing adventure, it would be a crime if I let the days pass without sharing it. Because despite the deep sh*t I am into, I believe this is one of the best days of my life. :)
Seagull Mountain Resort Waterfalls

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Ellipsis

Earlier, we played a game "catch the killer", where players can be either a killer, a healer or just a normal citizen. The citizens will have to investigate and guess who the killer is (and we can only guess by observing their reaction, what they say, or how they act - it's more like a psychological game). I won three times in a row of being a killer. Not that I have a mind of a killer. But they said I have this game face on, a poker face. They can never tell.

I guess that's what I'm really good at. You know, hiding how I truly feel. People see me happy. And I know I just feign it. I can never lie to myself. When alone, I drown in tears and pretend like everything's okay the next day. I may seem to look happy but I still feel that sting, a pang of fear, uncertainty, anger, and remorse all rolled into one. Beyond the laughs I feel pain. And not even the loudest laughter can suppress it, not from me at least anyway.

So this is how it feels when you've just given up. This is how a heartbreak feels. The pain is just so real. How am I surviving this? Do you know the line just fake it until you make it? Well, I think  it's working pretty well for me. And I hope I can get through this in one piece.

Anyway, sorry for the short pathetic post. Shit happens and I just needed to vent.

P.S. I'm not a pathetic-emo-looking-damsel-in-distress, I still flash a smile despite being in the pits, and that for sure is the only thing that's remaining genuine right now. :)

© Life is so full of tae!
Maira Gall