It's not what you think it is. But I believe I just died for about 3-4 seconds before I realized I just conquered my fear.

Yesterday, my friends and I decided to go to Kaputian at Samal Island to, well, do that cliff jump. Getting there is just easy. You just have to follow that concrete road and look for the sign that says Acantilado, and bam! You're there.

This post is a little bit late. Not that I'm getting lazy but I am still at lost for words to what I am about to blog. You see, the boyfriend surprised me with a journal. And it is not just a journal. It is an Alunsina Handbound Book!
Now, for everyone who doesn't know what an Alunsina Handbound Journal is and why I make it sound so special, allow me to give a brief introduction.

I still refuse to believe I am fangirling and actually writing about my teenage fascination to boybands. 98 Degrees, The Moffatts, Westlife, Boyzone, Hanson, N'Sync, and last but not the least, Backstreet Boys. What's the big deal? I am twenty-freakin-nine! 

So now, what can be more frustrating going to the beach when typhoon signal #1 was declared? Nothing. Unlike us, nature doesn't have a schedule. If it rains it will rain. But why sulk about it when we can do more? Mindanao is teeming with a lot of wonders. In a snap, we decided to go scuba diving at the south instead. Yes, changing plans is that easy - if you're always open and up for it.

Thought I would be spending Christmas alone. Yes, I  mean it. Alone. You see, my family made a last-minute decision to spend the Christmas eve at Sarangani Province - a three hour drive from Davao City- with our relatives. I, on the other hand, had an important business to deal with that is going to happen at the end of the day. I only have two choices here: Either I travel to Sarangani at 6pm getting me there by 9pm to which is already unsafe because firecrackers will be exploding everywhere on every street with a medium to high risk of losing a finger or a limb in the crossfire; Or I spend the Christmas here alone.

I have an old shoe box that sits on top of my closet. I never got to touch it since the time I posted about the same old shoe box back in 2011. It has gotten too dusty and too frail to hold all the letters and other memorabilia that were in it.

Old letters from my old shoe box

My old friends knew me too well. They knew how much I love sending letters, much more, receiving and reading one. My childhood bestfriend, Faith, and I exchanged letters since grade school even though we are living in the same city and not to mention, we see each other every Sunday.

I wish Baymax was real. Jan is sick. And so am I. I could really use one big huggable inflatable robot that looks like a giant marshmallow right now.

My Baymax is rather slim. Haha

I don't think anyone's going to disagree with me if I say we all need a Baymax in our lives.We need someone who would be there for us and make sure we're alright after we've been hurt. (It is alright to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.)

I've got three words: I. Don't. Know.

They say that once you have found the one, you just know it. But the truth is, no you don't. Anyone struck by the stupid cupid's arrow would always feel like he/she has found the one. Kahit sino naman siguro, kapag mahal mo, lagi mong iisipin na siya na. Pero hindi pala. Yeah, I've been there. Done that. Apparently, the one I thought was the one isn't the one after all.

Right now, I am in a relationship where I am genuinely happy. Whatever I feel is more than just the butterflies in my tummy. It goes deeper than that. This is the point in my life when I know love isn't just a magical feeling but a decision to make. This is when I say I want him in my life. This is when I chose to love him despite the odds and all those shit that came along. I love him not because he is an amazing person, or because he can make me laugh, or because I feel home whenever I'm with him, or because he makes me a better person. I love him just because I love him despite his flaws and imperfections.

Since Christmas is drawing nearer and nearer and, truth be told, getting more commercialized than ever, and people are in the subject of making wishlists... magpapahuli ba naman ako? I'm making a list, and checking it twice, gotta find out if I missed anything nice. Will Santa Claus be coming to town? Haha.

Anyway, here's my wishlist (ordered according to level of desire with 1 being the highest):

1. Journal/Planner
I would be thrilled to have an Alunsina Handbound Journal/Planner. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else. I would like to keep a journal again next year. The blog is for public consumption, while this will serve as a diary, a sketchpad, and a scrapbook on-the-go where I can write down my deepest and darkest(?!) thoughts. Haha. A nice pen to go with that would also be great.

This is one of my favorites. I actually love all their products!