"Such a precious moment."

Those were Jan's exact words while looking at the result for the nth time.

He read this at the hospital, inside the car, and countless times at home. :)

It was mid-December of 2019 when we got two lines on our home PT. After testing four times on different days, I found pleasure in tracking my pregnancy on various apps, paying attention to seeds and fruits I never really cared about before.


But anxiety slowly took over and the recent weeks ran really slow. While Jan is becoming extra cautious over protective towards everything, I was consumed by fear day after day after day.

Mild abdominal cramps? Google it. Had a bit of cola? Google it. Hornier than usual? Google it.

Yes, this is what we normally do when we are borderline panicking. We turn to the internet for immediate answers. I found myself seeking advice by spending most of my time reading different situations of these equally hormonal strangers who had no clue what they're going through. Something I knew I should have not done but did it anyway.

So if I can give one advice to soon-to-be moms, it would be to never waste a single second on pregnancy forums because it does not help at all. Trust me, the abbreviations are not only going to kill you (BFP, AF, DH, the hell are those) but you see, pregnancy-related fears are very normal but lurking around forums that share perfect pregnancy journeys and heartbreaking stories has just gotten me more and more paranoid than I should be. What if the pregnancy is not viable? What if it's a blighted ovum? Or worse, ectopic?

So for our own peace of mind, we had the first trimester ultrasound earlier than what my OB scheduled. And boy, we couldn't get down from cloud nine! I still vividly remember how Jan's face lit up when he saw our 9-week old little bean. More so, when he heard the heartbeat!

Our baby's heartbeat.

It was pure bliss. Such a precious moment indeed!

And now, I have my peace. I have a growing baby inside me. I want this pregnancy to become joyful rather than fearful. So I swear, I will never open another pregnancy forum again. I don't need it, especially when I am already neck-deep in attention, care, and support coming from the husband.

It's weekend and I still have a lot of incomplete tasks needed to be done at work but I'm still having a hangover from the holidays and I can hardly function. So before I totally ditch blogging about our year-end trip (like what I did to the other trips), I'll throw in a few snaps of our Siargao getaway.

Our first Christmas as married couple was spent in Siargao with family. Five days and two nights in paradise is definitely not enough, especially when were not able to cover everything the island has to offer. We spent a day or two tucked up in bed when Typhoon Ursula came raging in. Still, it is one of the best islands I've been to.

Boarding our plane.

Lunch at Kermit Surf Resort and Restaurant

Naked Island.

Guyam Island with my sister, Abi.

Buffet lunch served at Daku Island.

Magpupungko Tidal Pool

Low tide, big waves.

The guesthouse we stayed in surprised us with this cute and yummy cake! Thank you so much, Ohana Guest  House!

Cloud 9.

Yummy curacha!

Our ride, driven by Jan. Might blog about this.

That's not all but that pretty much sums up everything.

We were not able to go to Sugba Lagoon since the coast guard had strictly prohibited voyage on all watercrafts due to typhoon. I was not able to surf because, well, Jan has become too overprotective of me (8-weeks prego here, btw). So it follows I was also not allowed to climb up an iconic coconut tree in Guyam (just for the gram), swing at the famous coco swing, or jump off from a huge rock at Magpupungko. Aside from eating and basking under the sun, this was the most I can do:


I had limited activities but I enjoyed nonetheless. Siargao is indeed beautiful. Missing a few tourist spots is definitely an invitation to go back.

December kicked off sweetly and along with it came not just one but several good news!

1.) We finally got our passports with approved visas! We might fly to South Korea this winter so we can experience what's it like being bundled up in layers and still get frostbitten then agree on the idea that hell is literally a better place to live. Haha. I can't wait!


2.) Just when I thought I'd win the Laziest Arse Award for always hoping that my tasks get done magically on their own, I unexpectedly won this year's Best Special Interest Blog for the Davao Blog Awards 2019! Yes, I was truly surprised knowing that all the other nominees are as good and as passionate with their crafts.

I know I've been lazier than usual (those dwindling posts will tell you so). But I hope that even though I haven't been writing as frequently as I hoped I would, one or two of my stories somehow made you smile. Thank you for always believing in me.

Love this beautiful trophy from House of Wooden Letters.

3.) I was able to dance in front of everybody again! Pang Christmas party na lang ang talent ko. But heck! It felt so good flossin' my dance moves until I make it as an extra to the next Honey movie.

Dancing sailor.

4.) Our home is almost complete! There are still so many things needed to be done though. Screen, grills, landscaping, and my mini library where I can home my ever-growing collection of unread books. Well, it could be worse. I could be collecting rubber duckies and those things don't stack nicely.

Our humble abode.

5.)  We have just received the bestest news and greatest Christmas gift ever! Can't disclose the details yet but let's just say I am now spared from doing most of the household chores (that itself is already the best news).

2019 has been truly memorable. And the last month of the year sure did not fail to make it even more awesome. I still have a lot of things to do before the year ends (work, holidays, a year-end vacation, and simply nothing). So I guess, this will serve as a year-end post.

Have a Merry Christmas and here's to a POSITIVE and FRUITFUL 2020 everyone!

If zombies were to chase me, I only have a 300-meter chance to run for my life. Anything farther than that does not guarantee my survival.

Because I hate to admit this, I AM NO LONGER FIT AS I WAS BEFORE.

How do you survive a zombie apocalypse?

I used to be so physically active until I got derailed from my fitness goals because of a minor knee injury. I took a break but I never thought I would take a long one. Weeks quickly turned to months and before I knew it, two years had passed and I already made every damn excuse not to workout at all.

The struggle to gracefully juggle the demands of life — marriage, motherhood, work, household chores, and everything in between — definitely made exercise the last thing on my to-do list. It did not help that I work at home. I have my butt glued on my chair for eight hours daily and I got so used to having zero physical activity (if laundry, dishes, and walking to the toilet do not count).

See? I barely make 500 steps in a day.

And since being skinny does not seem to pose any threat to my health and self-esteem, I find no reason to exercise and I do not mind being idle at all. Until I was confronted with my lack of interest in attending social events because I tire easily. I also suffer from insomnia, inability to focus, and crankiness—all of which I have tried so valiantly to ignore the past two years and simply blamed everything to work and aging.

Turns out, I lack that much needed endorphins. I need to get high on it again.

I thought of going back to Muay Thai but with the traffic getting worse, a trip to the dojo would take an hour or two (I cannot afford to lose that much time). I considered yoga classes and even zumba parties but my non-negotiable schedule does not agree. I also tried signing up for marathons but I am reluctant to shell out at least Php1000 for a SINGLE run. The same amount can already get me a month's worth of gym membership which is not an option for me since I have this habit of not showing up after a session or two (the level of intimidation is pretty high there). Yes, I am still brilliant in making excuses.

Then I was introduced to Virtual Runs—something I didn't know exist. It is like any other run, but way more flexible. You can choose the day, the time, the route, and the distance that's most convenient and suitable for you. Perfect for my busy and unpredictable lifestyle! So when a fellow blogger, John, asked me to join Sun Life's first Virtual Run, of course, I hesitated. I knew I am too unfit to run 5k, let alone 50k.

But I did it anyway.

My virtual race bib.

I started out with baby steps. My first attempt was an easy 3k distance. To you, and maybe to myself today, that is nothing, but during that time, it was the hardest 3k of my life and I didn't even reach 3k! I saw death coming two minutes in. I was gasping for air and almost puked my lungs out. I was obviously in a terrible shape.

My first day.

But my momma did not raise a quitter so on the days that followed, I pressed on.

I tracked my performance and was happy to see that I eventually got better even though it still felt like I was using a spoon to dig a tunnel. But hey! Small progress is still progress.


It was not easy. It never is. But a hundred and one snoozed alarms, 22 daily battles-with-the-little-demon-inside-my-head-who-constantly-tells-me-that-running-is-not-really-worth-getting-out-of-bed-for, and 12 angry-mutters-to-myself-for-choosing-exhaustion-over-sleep later, I completed the 50k  challenge.


It was not as glorious as finishing an actual race but I am immensely proud of myself.


I wouldn't say I have fell in love with running. To be honest, I still hate it. But no matter how much you hear me whine about how boring, how painful, or how exhausting it is, you will still find me hitting the road on my Brooks because I know I am only 3kms away from feeling good.


Running has definitely proven beneficial to my physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It is the perfect antidote for my laziness. It energizes me to get me going the whole day. My mood has significantly improved (that's probably because when you're too tired from running nothing can stress you out anymore. Haha). I am now more focused and more productive at work. And best of all, I am already getting enough sleep—something I did not have in a very long time.

Yes, the virtual run challenge has already ended, but my journey to living a healthier life has just begun.

And in this world where technology is ruling over us and we are starting to inadvertently normalize sedentary lifestyle, I am so grateful to Sun Life Philippines for giving me that kick in the butt I needed to get me off my lazy couch and start with that baby step toward a victorious leap to a healthy life.

Good  job, self!

Well, what else can I say? With this 180-degree turn, I know I would live long enough to see a zombie apocalypse. And this time for sure, I will be able to survive one.

With the series of strong earthquakes happening in our city, I thought I'd never go braless inside our home again. I hate bras not only because they are uncomfortable but I also had to deal with the trouble of trying to tug my boobies back into their proper positions as if they are always on an escape mission every time I have a bra on. But with what's happening the past few days, I had to imprison these lady bumps lest I risk running out of the house in my loose, ragged shirt with the nips underneath begging for attention again.

Okay, I think I said too much but let this be clear that I'm not here to talk about bras and boobies.

So before I share more things that might strip off any respect you have for me, I just want you to know that after more than twenty days of blogging hiatus (that feels like three months to me), I am still alive and relatively healthier. I know 0.01% of you will say, "Awesome! That's good to hear!"

(That 0.01% is my husband by the way.)

30% of you will say, "Ummm. Okay. So what?"

10% will be like, “What? No boobs?!”

50% will be like, "Oh please, the internet doesn't care about your life dramas."

The rest of the 20% will be like, "How did I end up here? I was searching for penguin back flips."

And 7% will be like, "You're already at 110.01%. I say you flunked 5th grade Math because that's not how percentages work."

Whatever.

After those strong earthquakes, a collapsed condo, and at least twenty five aftershocks a day (only five of that were true, while the rest were just phantom quakes because we can no longer differentiate heart palpitations from a real quake), we decided to go to our house to inspect for damages and cracks.


Thankfully everything is fine. Progress is also good. Construction is estimated to be completed by December but I don't think we'll be moving in soon. I'm still excited about it though. This is our first property. We really worked hard for this and we are so proud about it.

Anyway, so much for the ground breaking news. My Facebook feed is heartbreaking so I diverted my attention to other things. I started running again. I wasn't in my best condition but am getting the hang of it and definitely doing better with each run. I don't think I'll ever like running though. The only thing that's beautiful about this activity is meeting different chonky doggos along the way.


But I'll keep on running not only because this is sponsored by SunLife (will blog about the experience) but also because I am slowly getting back in shape and it has significantly turned my bad sleeping habits around—which is good because I've been battling with insomnia for as long as I can remember. (Thank you for this, SunLife!)


Other than that, some shit happened but we're fine. We switched ISP and our lives have never been better. Our Korea trip is not happening this year (our application is already with the Embassy and we're hoping we get approved with a multiple entry so we can visit in autumn next year as how it was originally planned). And lastly, Jan got himself a Nintendo Switch (I'm waiting for him to get Mario Party so that I might actually like the thing).

That's it. Life lately hasn't really been that interesting. Everything is awesome nonetheless.

For more than a decade, I was okay with having jobs that can provide our needs, pay the bills, and splurge a bit. I have never been in debt. And that's pretty much an achievement, especially for a then single mom like me.

BUT THAT WAS IT.


I have never been broke broke though. I knew how to handle shit when my bank figures drop to nearly zero. I rely and use my artistic and writing skills to earn extra (which robbed me off a quality family time). I was lucky not to run out of resources. And it has gotten me dangerously complacent.

Work. Pay bills. Spend what's left. Give myself a pat on the back for staying afloat for another month. Repeat.

I have done a brilliant job in keeping myself perpetually stuck in a financial rut. But I was fine. I normalized it.

Like everybody does.

Because YOLO.

But somewhere along this phase where the internet pressures you with age-based accomplishments, things have suddenly changed. Pressure is understandably often attached to negativity. This time, however, I am glad there was pressure from the society. Friends who constantly post about their financial milestones and achievements pressured inspired me to do better with my finances. Yes, there's a good in posting stuff like that, you know. It's just a matter of perspective.

If they can do it, so can I.

So I took the first step by attending a financial literacy lecture only to realize that I have been doing things wrong all along.

You see, YOLOing has caused me to make impulsive and irrational financial decisions. I delayed saving and investing because I was living in the now. While memes have taught us to live carefree because you will never know what happens next, that's exactly when the striking question come bustling in: what legacy are you leaving when that time comes?

I certainly do not want to be remembered as a burden. Not to my parents, not to my husband, and definitely not to my children.

Five or maybe even two years from now, I would no longer have the same skills. I would be trumped by people younger and more skillful than me. This job would not last me long and I would run out of resources eventually.

So finally, I stepped up my game. It's not an overnight process and I'm taking it one step at a time.

First, I got myself into business again. We will be launching a few weeks from now and I am excited and anxious at the same time. I know this isn't fool-proof and I know the risks of jump-starting a business. But, we'll never know if we'll never try.

Sneak peak. Spent a few sleepless nights for these samples.

Second, even though I have a husband who alone can provide well for the family, I believe two earners are better than one. And right now, to stop myself from constantly asking where has all my money gone, I have already started investing in stocks and mutual funds. I'm not savvy about it yet but I'm getting there.


I'm not posting this to brag (there's nothing to brag about anyway). But I understand that some people are just like me who get intimidated with anything that involves math and money. I avoided the words stock, funds, or investment like plague. I used to think stock market is only for the rich. Really.

But the truth is, and I bet not everyone knows this, YOU DO NOT NEED A LOT OF MONEY TO START. All it takes is financial education and everything else will follow. If I knew about this back then, I would have started ages ago and that would have made a looooooot of difference.

So whether you are fresh out of college, in the mid-30s like me, or approaching retirement, there is no better time to take advantage of an investment but NOW because...

YOLO!

P.S. If you do not know where to start, follow First Metro Securities on Facebook and be updated for more financial literacy seminars in your area that you can avail for free. I am not paid for this. But I believe they deserve a spot on my blog because that's where I initially learned. :)