I hate that I couldn't even come up with a better title - Life is so full of tae!

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

I hate that I couldn't even come up with a better title


This blog post is a perfect example how politics can eat up a large amount of my time and energy. I can't help it. Philippine politics is intriguing, dramatic, and at the same time entertaining. But it is equally detestable as well.

I hate politics but I have got to admit that I am addicted to it. We are addicted to it. I think everybody is. Even our religious leaders couldn't help but get themselves involved with politics that they spend more time on it than on God. Don't you find it amazing how politics can make you hate it enough to keep you involved, interested, and informed? I am still bemused.

I swear I never really wanted to see myself write another post about politics (say politics one more time, Sarah). But as much as I wanted to stay away from it, it is everywhere I go. It's like a plague that no one can get away from. 99% of the things I read on Facebook is all about politics. And by politics, I mean Duterte. And I hate that I add to that 99%. I could have just posted funny videos of cats or blogged about the bacon I had for breakfast instead to lighten up the cranky mood brought about the chaos that is politics.

Our Mayor Duterte is a political hot potato who is suffering another blow from sensationalism, political-analyst wannabes, and bandwagoners who believe in everything they see on the internet. Yes, the man may have gone overboard with his cussing as he expressed his exasperation over the country's problems which remained unsolved, or worse, ignored by those in the higher power. But that's who he is. I'd rather have a leader who curses like a sailor but has the vision, strong will, and guts to push the country up that's in perpetual decline - a man I find in Duterte - than someone whose evil political agenda are hidden behind the mouth of a saint.

But more than that, all those cheap shots and hate messages directed to Mayor Duterte made me realize how bad outweighs the good. How easy it is for us to forget all the good things a person did for one bad act he made. Maybe we can put the blame on the psychology of human behavior or neuroscience. Because as far as I can remember my college lessons, brain activity increases at the feelings of anger, sadness, fear, disappointment, violence, or pretty much anything unpleasant. An increased brain activity means thorough processing of the emotion linked to it. Maybe that explains why it is easier to remember the negative and why negativity bias exists. Or maybe we are just jerks. Either way, I hate that humans are wired that way.

Aaargh, enough of politics. I really intend this to be a personal thought. But I guess, I got carried away by the politics. Anyway, speaking of a one bad act clouding all the other good deeds done, I think it can also come the other way around. You know, when things of a more positive nature have a greater effect on you it tramples the negative. Well, it should come the other way around. However you approach it, Pollyanna principle or placebo effect or simply just being someone with a positive outlook (it's a matter of perspective, really), it's absolutely better than the other one.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned it here on my blog, but the past few months have really been shitty. Those months when I slumped into the feeling of worthlessness and shit. And instead of pushing myself back on my feet, I felt demotivated and confused about what I was supposed to do next. Frustrated that I'd lost months of my life wallowing in self-pity.

I hate that I found myself in that situation.

But I hate it even more that I became so pessimistic and cynical of everything, even to myself. Is the glass half empty or half full? It doesn't matter, I think it's poisoned anyway.

Yeah, that bad.

"I am worthless. I'm a big disappointment. I will always be a failure."

Wow.

That's a whole lot of heavy baggage I was carrying.

And I hate that I had to question the Almighty and His plans for me. It's one thing to question God. And I don't think it's wrong. But it's another thing to question Him with a rebellious, untrusting heart. It was such a shame.

It took a visit to my Alma mater and an authentic Mexican tacos for me to slowly realize that everything will get better in time.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And it does.

Anyway, to cut the story short, I just received a good news yesterday. And all those months of tearing my hair in frustration vanished into thin air. I tried to recall the feeling of failure and rejection. And zero, zip, nada! I couldn't. I hope it will always be like that. When the good outweighs the bad.  Not just with my life, but with politics and everything else as well.

Things are slowly falling into place now. I find myself standing on my feet again. I hate that I haven't seen through how God works by using the people around me. I am indeed blessed. And I hate that I would have loved to write more but this post has to end.

Salamat kaayo, Lord! Wala jud ko nimo gipasagdan. Ug salamat pud Jan kay wala pud ko nimo gipasagdan. Hehe

14 comments:

  1. Politics is an addiction. If you're not into it then you don't really care about your country. Glad you made it through that sinkhole. Keep on writing Miss Sarah!

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    1. I'm surprised I am addicted. I would have never realized this if I haven't been posting and blogging about it.

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  2. From politics to a confession to a realisation. I really like the way you write. This is why I also love reading personal blogs (yours is one of my favorites). Having no particular topic and reading ones personal life makes it interesting. I'm glad to hear you are doing well now. :)

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    1. That's the beauty of nicheless blogs. Haha. I can just write about anything under the sun. ;)

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  3. Hi! Your post for your fellow davaoenos brought me here. This is my first time here and I really love your blog. I love your doodles and the way your write.

    Now, please excuse me. I have some reading to do. Your blog is really interesting.

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  4. Great things come to those who wait. God's perfect timing is worth the wait. God bless you, Sarah.

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  5. i really like the way your write but honestly i'm sick reading duterte writeups. but i was intrigued by your drawing and forced myself to read everything. lol. life is not always good but carry on, as you said it will get better.

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    1. I think my write-ups are boring, especially the ones that are long. The doodles keep it less duller than it is. Haha. Thank you! ^_^

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  6. Hi sarah! I really like your blog. Keep the faith. Magiging okey din ang lahat. :)

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    1. Yeah, kahit minsan napapatanong pa rin ako, napapaisip kung bakit ako nasa lagay na 'to, I know everything will be okay in the end. ^_^

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  7. test comment only.

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    1. Your test comment is most welcome. Thank you for dropping by. ^_^

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