"What do you look for in a man?" one friend asked.

"Syempre yung kaya akong buhayin," said another.

Bigla akong napaisip. When Jan and I were still dating, it never occurred to me that one day I'll be marrying him because he can provide well for me. I CAN DO THAT ON MY OWN. I still remember those days when he only had one pair of shoes he used for work, beach, sports, and practically everywhere. It had been dying on him but he held on to it because he couldn't afford a new one. When it comes to dates, he is not galante. So I always insist 50-50 when we eat out, watch movies, or basically anything we would do together. I wouldn't say he's in such a bad, poverty-stricken state but certainly, he isn't well-off. And if I take a look back at the Jan Carlo I knew 6 years ago, hindi nya ako kayang buhayin.

But I stuck with him because he is kind, smart, thoughtful, honest, mature, responsible, level-headed, and most of all, he would always go the extra mile for me. And as his former workmate, I have seen his skills, his drive, and work ethic. That's when I knew he would go a long way. And because we both have each other's back, we're slowly but surely getting there.

I won the lottery!

Kaya ba nya akong buhayin ngayon? Absolutely yes. And the best thing about it, despite all that he has gained, earned, and owned (he now has around 10 pairs of branded shoes just so you know haha), he never failed to put us, his new family, first before anything else. He is still the same goal-driven, kind, smart, thoughtful, honest, mature, responsible, level-headed, and ma-effort man I knew since day one. It's only a bonus that he is good-looking, doesn't smoke, and only drinks when there's an occasion.

So the law-abiding husband got his first infraction because this lazy ass wife crossed the street and chose not to use the pedestrian lane that is just three meters away. We were together but he's the one who's fined. He lectures but has never gotten mad at me. Ever. Sorry, lab! 😚

So enough ba yung kaya kang buhayin? I wouldn't say so. Sa panahon ngayon, dapat maging praktikal. Totoo naman yun. But if that alone is your deciding factor, sooner or later you will be trapped in a loveless and unhappy marriage. I know a lot of people who are stuck in this situation because they failed or worse, refused to look beyond their partner's financial capabilities. How is his attitude? What are his values? How does he treat you? Is he compatible with you? And by that, I mean, does he love you the way you want to be loved and vice versa?

Kaya ka ngang buhayin pero mapapabayaan ka naman. Kaya ka ngang buhayin pero hindi ikaw ang priority. Kaya ka ngang buhayin pero ang sama naman ng ugali. Kaya ka ngang buhayin pero magiging masaya ka ba? Think about that.

I don't want any of these, by the way. But choose a man who makes you feel loved with or without a gift, Valentine's or not. (Image from Life Sense PH)