"How does it feel like?"

"Nothing has really changed," I said flatly.

"Wait until the honeymoon phase is over."

I have been asked this question over and over again for weeks now and I have been repeating my answer with the same flat face. And it is not because I am less enthusiastic about it. It is just that, I do not want to engage in a conversation and delve into details about the brutal truths I wished somebody told me about before getting married.

One of the reasons why I never wore a ring or a nail polish is because I do not want to draw attention to my ugly man hands. I never really liked my hands.

I've got big knuckles, probably from the knuckle-popping which I am so fond of since fourth grade. I've got big veins that can give any nurse an orgasm, and it sure does make my hands look masculine. I've got wrinkly hands that look ten years older than I really am to which no amount of lotion or moisturizer can help.

Believe it or not, my childhood friend used to envy my thin and lovely fingers; she'd call it kandilaon. And perhaps you are wondering how did they get this way.

It's 2017.

Remember when I said I've never had any Starbucks before? Well, just recently, I've had one when Renz and I decided to do our planning at Starbucks for our second public speaking stint. That was my first time to hang out at Starbucks.

Ever.

I've had three boyfriends in my life and not one of them has ever courted me.

I don't play hard to get. If I like I guy who likes me too, it wouldn't take long before I commit.

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. He was my close friend and our relationship was born out of a deal. "Let's play a game. Kapag nanalo ako, tayo na". Parang ganun. It was nothing really serious. We were still too young and scared. Konting kilig dito, holding hands doon. Ganun lang.

I don't remember the last time I binge-watched over a tv series because I have never really watched anything since Burn Notice ended.

Call me a loser. I've never seen The Walking Dead, I couldn't even get past episode 1 of the Game of Thrones, I don't know what's strange about Stranger Things, and not even a single thought of jumping into the Korean drama bandwagon crossed my mind - which is probably a good thing.

But I ended up giving Riverdale a try. Seriously? I probably deserve a good punch in the face for missing on the good shows and giving this a second look, not to mention, time to blog about this. I'm not even into highschool-centric dramas (Mean Girls is an exception). But since I was a big Archie comics fan back then, I decided to watch the pilot episode after the teasers gave me a hunch that they got the characters wrong. And I was right.

I want to get inked.

I have always wanted one ever since I was in college. But I had to wait. I had to make sure it wasn't just a teenager's act of rebellion against the parents, the self, or the world. Then I had to wait more to make sure that I am not running right into a tattoo salon just because everyone is doing it. I had to wait a little more to make sure that this isn't just a phase and I might get over the tattoo-lust somehow. And I had to wait a little bit more because I know this is not something that has to be taken lightly.

If I had to get my first ink done, I always remind myself that it has to be significant to me. When I turned 18, I wanted to have a butterfly tattooed on my shoulder blade because they were fad and looked cool back then. Too glad I didn't because I'd be mortified to see a cute butterfly drawn permanently on my skin today. No offense meant here, but it's just so not me. The last thing I would want is to find myself biting my lips, cringing, and asking myself  "OH GAWD, WHY?" a few years later.