Confessions Vol. 11: I'm an Easy Girl

I've had three boyfriends in my life and not one of them has ever courted me.

I don't play hard to get. If I like I guy who likes me too, it wouldn't take long before I commit.

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. He was my close friend and our relationship was born out of a deal. "Let's play a game. Kapag nanalo ako, tayo na". Parang ganun. It was nothing really serious. We were still too young and scared. Konting kilig dito, holding hands doon. Ganun lang.

With the second boyfriend, the courtship lasted for a week. And it's not something I would even consider a courtship. We just took our friendship on to the next level by talking over the phone for hours. And a week after that, we were already official (sinagot ko din sya over the phone haha).

And with the present boyfriend... Well, it just happened. I mean, we just happened. Our relationship blossomed from friendship and then boom! The last three years and 2 months of my life have been the sweetest.

You see, I DON'T BELIEVE IN COURTSHIPS. There's a lot of showmanship in there. It's always the best foot forward. Yadda-yadda. And before I overwhelm you with reasons why I don't believe in this, you might want to watch this:

Although I would NOT take this advice wholly, there's a grain of truth to it. Actually, a bigger truth if you just read between the lines. Most people got this video all wrong. Wala namang sinabi na magpaka-whore ka. It doesn't mean that you throw yourself off the edge to test the waters. Kung may manliligaw, 'yes' agad? Hindi ganun yun.

Yes, I might have thought about that in almost the same way but it doesn't mean that I'd give in to anybody who comes my way. I still have my standards, too. Duh. I would not like someone if he doesn't meet my standards to begin with. I've had boys who courted me in the fanciest and sweetest ways you can think of. Basted. Hindi lahat nang nanliligaw sa akin gusto ko kahit pa naabot nila ang standards ko. Kung lahat nang nanliligaw sa akin nagugustuhan ko, eh di sana madami na akong ex ngayon. Haha.

Yes, I don't believe in courtships. But I believe in starting every relationship with friendship. There is no better way.

All my exes (parang ang dami noh?) have long been my friends before they were able to muster the courage to confess their love for me - whatever kind of love that is. And that means I already have the edge of knowing them almost inside out before anything else. Honestly, I don't fall in love easily but when I do, bakit ko pa papatagalin? Saying 'yes' would mean you are exclusively dating and I believe that's how you would know each other better. Wag magpakipot but take it slow and easy. Getting into a relationship does not always mean that you will have to jump in each other's pants. You have to know how to set the rules and limitations, too.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I just think like a man. Or maybe I'm just too lucky that I attract people of the same wavelength. Whatever it is, I am glad I did not end up with a fckboi or whatsoever. Kasi sa totoo lang, kahit may standards ka pa, the type of people attracted to you will depend on your attitude, your personality, and your lifestyle.

You see, just because it was way too easy for me to commit to a relationship doesn't mean I don't know my worth. Oh, sure I do. I really do. Even if I was too easy to get, I was not easy to let go. And I think that's even better. Kesa yung matagal suyuin pero madali namang kalimutan. Kung ako naging girlfriend mo, tiyak mahihirapan kang magmove on sa akin. Haha! My past relationships ran long term. As in, looooong term. And see? Even with years of being in a relationship, hindi mo pa rin makikilala ng lubusan ang isang tao. Tapos magpapaligaw ka nang matagal to get to know each other better? I. Don't. Get. It.

But anyway, even if my past relationships did not really end well, there are no regrets because these taught me a lot about love and relationships. Hindi ko kailangan dumaan sa madaming lalaki para maging expert sa pagibig. Hindi ko sinasabing expert ako, but I would say, courtship - whether short or long - can not guarantee a long-lasting relationship. It's the work within the relationship that does it. Relasyon ang pinapatagal hindi ang panliligaw. And if there's one kind of courtship that I believe in, it's the courtship within the relationship. Mas masarap yun.

Why am I writing this? Because easy girls like me are, more often than not, judged.

In this world where easy girls are stereotyped as malandi, shallow, uninspiring, and someone who doesn't make your life interesting, I'm a living proof that you don't have to be complicated to spice things up a little bit. Siguro nga easy lang talaga ako. You know, easy lang pakisamahan. Easy lang intindihin. Easy lang pasayahin. Easy lang mahalin. At sa mundong nangingibabaw ang mga komplikado at nagpapakakomplikadong babae, naniniwala akong mas mahirap yun hanapin.

P.S. Talagang sinadya kong magtagalog. Dahil hindi naman ito applicable sa mga English-speaking readers ko. Iba ang kultura natin. Iba ang pananaw nila when it comes to dating and courtship. I still really had a hard time putting this altogether in Filipino though. So please, pardon the code-switching.


  1. Its easy for u to say bcos ur pretty. Theres so many boy who will like you but for the not so pretty one the tendency is she will say yes to whoever will come her way and its not good. But I thank you for sharing this. I like reading your blog.

    1. Hello Jenina. This isn't actually an advice. This is just me writing and sharing my thoughts. I'm not saying that you should do this or that kasi magkaiba naman tayo lahat ng pinagdadaanan. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and reading my blog! ^_^