This Is the New I Love You

By Sarah Aterrado - March 23, 2018

Being in a relationship with Jan taught me that men who are not vocally expressive have surprising and, I would say, better ways of expressing their love.

Situation 1:
Me: Grabe mga nahitabo karong adlawa. Makagawas ka? I need to destress. (Things didn't go well today. Can you go out? I need to destress.)
Jan: *tired from work and not feeling well*

The next thing I know, we are already eating at Tokyo-tokyo, or Tadakuma, or any of my favorite Japanese resto for that matter.

Situation 2:
Me: I don't feel too well.
Jan: Anha ko dira. Unsa gusto nimo? (I'll come over. What do you want?)
Me: Gummy bears.


Situation 3 (pinakamatindi):
Me: Naay available na H&L units sa Villa C. (There are available H&L units in Villa C.)
Jan: Ooooh.
*insert thorough discussion here*

The next day. Yes, the very next day:

For a millionth time over the last two years, I've been asked, "so, what do you and Jan plan to do?" which also translates to when are we going to finally tie the knot.

We are not getting any younger, we get it. But please know, family and friends, that our plans are in motion. Just because we don't share anything on social media other than our travels does not mean our relationship is stuck in a carefree patravel-travel lang stage. We are humbly and quietly reaching our relationship milestones, one careful step at a time.

What we have now is amazing. We rarely ever fight. And by rarely, I mean, we have only fought perhaps three times in four years. Well, that's a little scary. But then, we both have had relationships in the past that didn't work out and it is with each other that we realized love does not have to be hard. And that feels pretty awesome. There's no need to rush things, really.

I know Jan wouldn't agree posting about this, but I just want to answer your questions once and for all (I know you read my blog). Chill lang guys. This isn't a race. We will get there. And when that time comes, we know for sure that we are ready.

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  1. Congratulations to both of you! Mostly millennials who marry are not prepared. Yong iba nagpapakasal na walang ipon. You did right by investing for your own house first. Marry when you are prepared. God bless you! Keep inspiring us.

    1. Thank you so much!

      Yeah, you marry because you're mentally, emotionally, and financially ready not because you feel you're running out of time. :)

  2. Good job! Before we got married we made sure we have our own home too. Take this from married couples, no matter how good your biyenans are to you mahirap ang nakikitira lang. It's 2018, women are now independent and financially capable. Men can now easily provide a home for the family because their wives are there to help.

    1. Yeah, ang bahay talaga ang sinuguro namin. Pamahal na ng pamahal ang real estate properties and palayo na ng palayo ang location. The earlier we invest, the better. Also, +1 for being an independent woman. I help Jan with the payment, di kaya ng pride ko na iasa lahat sa kanya. Haha. But he provides 70-80% of it.

  3. Good job and good move sir jan and maam sarah! Sa panahon ngayon hindi sapat ang pag-ibig lang. Ako nga five years at may dalawang anak nakatira pa rin sa biyenan. Mahirap talaga yung nakikitira lang hindi ka makagalaw ng maayos. Hirap din bumukod dahil nakakapit pa din sa asawa ko ang pamilya niya tapos ako naman sa online selling lang kumikita baka mas mahihirapan kami kung bubukod pa kasi konti lang naman kinikita ko sapat lang para sa mga baon ng bata. Sana nga naisipan namin na magkabahay muna bago nagpakasal o kaya bago magkaanak dahil ang hirap pagsabayin lalo na kung magsisimula nang mag aral ang mga bata.

    God bless po sa inyo at congrats po!

    1. Love isn't enough talaga. We have to be practical. I'm sure you will be able to move out from your in-laws. Maybe not soon, but eventually. Just work hard for it. Iba din kasi talaga if you are living independently with your own family. :)

  4. This should be followed as relationship goals! Date someone na kayang buhayin at kaya kang bigyan ng magandang bahay/buhay.

    1. That's true! Date someone who has goals and plans in life. But let's not forget that we don't date someone to financially support us. Sabi nga nila, behind every successful man is a strong and independent woman. We don't want to be burdens sa mga lalake and drag them down.

  5. The very next day man jud. Abtikang koya uy!

  6. Congratulations on the new investment! :) I agree on taking things slow, one step at a time. I've made a mistake of rushing things in the past and it's definitely something I hope I didn't do. You and Jan are on the right track. :)