I used to be confident with my body. Back in college, I can wear whatever the hell I want. But of course, that doesn't mean I would go around in skimpy clothes. My wardrobe is still limited to jeans, shirt, and sneakers. But I can also pull off a bikini because, well, I had the body.

I was blessed with a great pair of boobies. I always get complimented for my even-toned morena skin despite living in a country where Snow White defined beauty. And yes, I will not deny that I have this beautiful mala-Aubrey Miles face (or at least, that's what most people think). Seriously.

While some people are exceptionally lucky to always win raffle draws, I am perpetually the opposite. Perhaps I'd be struck by a lightning a hundred times before I even get a chance to win a scratch off lottery game.

But then again, I am still lucky. Just in a different way.

Several days ago, I won a nationwide Blog Writing Contest from AirAsia Philippines. And this isn't the first time I've won a contest. I've won several quiz bees, Math challenges (I detest Math, though), extemporaneous speeches, sports (MVP and Best Goalkeeper), and poster-making contests during my prime childhood and teenage years. I've won quite a few international logo and web design contests, too. And in the recent years, I've bagged some nationwide and local blog awards.

Yes, it does sound like I am blowing my own horn here because I am indeed blowing my own horn. And I am not ashamed to admit that. But what I'm only trying to say is, I've never won a contest I didn't work hard for.

And this is how my luck comes in.

I was not born with a silver spoon.

In fact, I wasn't born with any spoon at all. I remember being poor. But I don't remember how it feels like to be poor, I just remember being loved. Looking back to where we came from, I grew up with hand-me-downs and that being treated with a slice of pizza would already mean the best day ever.


We also didn't have a house of our own, so it's no surprise that we moved quite a lot. From one church parsonage to another to the squatters area in Claveria to the shady slums of Piapi Boulevard to the outskirts of Puan, it's not a wonder living in those dog eat dog communities that I developed this astig (badass) personality. However, I was raised well. My papa worked two jobs, he's a church pastor and also a government employee. My mama, a public school teacher, who had to work to a far-flung area also sold ice candies and yemas for extra. We definitely had tough times. We almost had nothing but like I said, we have LOVE.

How to be u po?

That's one of the comments I often receive whenever I post something on Facebook or sometimes here on my blog. I'm not a celebrity or something. But I believe every blogger, regardless of the number of followers, has certainly experienced the same.

Not that I think our readers and followers worship our curated and seasoned lives on social media. But then, I think it's fun to answer that infamous question once and for all.

How to be me nga ba?  Here are 39 ways:

I never really look forward to my birthdays. My 20s isn't all that awesome and isn't really my favorite decade. Climbing the hills of my 30s isn't that glorious either. At least, that's what the internet told me.

My face has been slammed with those "30 Awesome Things to Do When You Are 30", or "You'll Regret It If You Haven't Done These 30 Things Before 30", or "10 Life Lessons People Should Learn Before They Turn 30", or "10 Things Successful People Do By Age 30" yadda yadda. I never really read the entirety of such listicles because my attention span extends only up to 3 list items and the rest would already sound gibberish knowing I have miserably failed.

If it wasn't for the review I made, I would not have blogged anything for almost two weeks. And so I start to think, in the name off all that is holy, haven't you done anything that is interesting, Sarah?

Actually, a lot happened. But I can only think of it as something worth shrugging or eye-rolling. Or something that's only twitter-worthy for it can only be summed up into less than 160 characters like, "Yay! It's the first time I voted. Just look at my blue fiiiiiinger!" or "Just saw someone took a Bacardi 151 shot. Reaction? Priceless. And now I'm curious because it feels like I missed something surreal", or "Ian Somerhalder just replied to my tweet! Best day ever!"

Okay, I made the last one up. Although I would have loved being that fangirl, but my twitter account is pathetic and I could not even remember the password. But anyway, on a Saturday when all the chores are done and my cat refuses to bath, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and might as well humiliate myself just to stir something interesting. Or not. Please don't judge.

When I was 5 or 6 and some time when I was 18 - 20

My second name was derived from my birth month. So if I were born a boy, I would most likely be named June. And perhaps will be given a nickname Jun-jun. Which would make me cringe the same way I cringe when I think about the fact that some people still call me Jane-jane. Ugh.

I have always wondered, what would it be like if I were, indeed, Jun-jun? Just a few weeks ago, I found this beard and mustache toy scattered around the house, so I tried it on just for the heck of it. Add a bonnet and tsaraaaaan!

Presenting, Jun-jun:

It's August. Cheeses, where did time go?!

I have made it more than halfway through 2015 and thought it would be good to see how I'm doing. I know it's still early to say this but so far 2015 turned out quite well. Although turning 30 this year didn't seem to have a really big impact in my life like how I expected it should be. Perhaps I am still having a hard time realizing that I've lived three decades already because deep inside, I still feel like I'm in my early twenties or maybe even younger. But of course, for 30 years, I've seen how life can sometimes be sneaky in delivering valuable lessons right in front of me. And there were those times that I just wish I had known them sooner in life. Just like...

I am 30 today. And since I've already given myself a treat on the last few hours of the decade that has been my twenties, I decided to stay home, sit in silence and savor the moment being in complete solitude.

If there's one thing I've given myself valuable for my birthday, it is this solitude. Yes, I am used to being alone. But those moments were never profound. I never had this chance of having a complete possession of my own thoughts, my feelings, my senses, and my soul.