I've got three words: I. Don't. Know.

They say that once you have found the one, you just know it. But the truth is, no you don't. Anyone struck by the stupid cupid's arrow would always feel like he/she has found the one. Kahit sino naman siguro, kapag mahal mo, lagi mong iisipin na siya na. Pero hindi pala. Yeah, I've been there. Done that. Apparently, the one I thought was the one isn't the one after all.

Right now, I am in a relationship where I am genuinely happy. Whatever I feel is more than just the butterflies in my tummy. It goes deeper than that. This is the point in my life when I know love isn't just a magical feeling but a decision to make. This is when I say I want him in my life. This is when I chose to love him despite the odds and all those shit that came along. I love him not because he is an amazing person, or because he can make me laugh, or because I feel home whenever I'm with him, or because he makes me a better person. I love him just because I love him despite his flaws and imperfections.

Since Christmas is drawing nearer and nearer and, truth be told, getting more commercialized than ever, and people are in the subject of making wishlists... magpapahuli ba naman ako? I'm making a list, and checking it twice, gotta find out if I missed anything nice. Will Santa Claus be coming to town? Haha.

Anyway, here's my wishlist (ordered according to level of desire with 1 being the highest):

1. Journal/Planner
I would be thrilled to have an Alunsina Handbound Journal/Planner. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else. I would like to keep a journal again next year. The blog is for public consumption, while this will serve as a diary, a sketchpad, and a scrapbook on-the-go where I can write down my deepest and darkest(?!) thoughts. Haha. A nice pen to go with that would also be great.

This is one of my favorites. I actually love all their products!

I don't really brag about my purchases, except for the books and for this one. But save those sneers, what I am about to brag has a little story to tell.

You must understand, after I first set foot on Mt. Apo with my ever reliable Sandugo sandals, my feet got sunburn and blisters. So I promised myself a good pair of shoes for this kind of adventure. It took me almost a decade to be able to afford one. And here it is! Finally.

Well, I must have been very nice this year because I got the perfect(est), best(est), and comfiest hiking shoes this Christmas! Woot! And the best part is, I definitely am the luckiest when I got this.

Earlier today, my workmates and I visited Providence Home of St. Joseph at Tugbok District, Davao City. It is a home which caters abused, abandoned, neglected, and orphaned children. At first I thought of it as an ordinary outreach activity, something like those any other outreach programs required by our schools way back in high school and college. But this time, it's different. I guess when you grow up and do things willingly, you see things differently.

We had the usual programme: introduction, games, presentations, yadda yadda. Then the children took us by surprise with their numbers, when in fact, we should be the one surprising them. It was a lot fun than I expected. Yes, I was more inclined to the fun part. I was never emotional when it comes to this. But what gave me away was when they sang a Christmas song with the words:

Lagi mo na maiisip na sila'y nandito sana
At sa Noche Buena ay magkakasama.
Ang pasko ay kay saya kung kayo'y kapiling na
Sana pagsapit ng Pasko, kayo'y naririto...

To my non-Filipino speaking friends, to simply translate this song it means, I wish my loved ones are here this Christmas.

Yet despite that lack of fashion sense, I definitely am no sloppy dresser either.

I missed reading. I haven't read for months. With an exception to The Maze Runner, which I've read from my phone. But I had to stop halfway because my eyes have been complaining of eye-strain. That means, that novel would have to wait until the next paycheck and I'll purchase the real book instead.

Yep, this is so me.

Anyway, it's Saturday and I finally got time to read uninterrupted. I was too engrossed, I kept on telling myself 'just one more chapter' that I've totally forgotten about dinner. I can't help it. It really feels good to disconnect from the real world and enter another world that could simply bring you mayhem, sadness, happiness, love and so on and so forth.

I just finished reading one and as always, I ended up becoming a victim of emotional trauma from the hands of a paperback. I think regardless of the number of books I've read, I could never get used to it. Books will always stab and wound me, or take me on a high. However it goes, it's an enjoyable experience nonetheless. Yes, I am grabbing another one so that I will have something to blame for my lack of sleep at night again. Haha. Bless my eye bags.