Back to Square One

All this time I thought I am prepared for this. But I must have pushed that button resetting all the things I already learned about newborn care. 

I find myself Googling about things I am certain I knew before. Cord stump care, what a normal poop should look like, how much can a newborn consume, and so much more. Those seemingly ridiculous questions such as why babies pout their lips or why they make funny noises or how much milk tea can a breastfeeding momma consume also fill my search history. Thankfully, Google wouldn't mind the hundred and one weird questions I throw and doesn't judge my parenting skills based on what I search for.

We Made This

Tiny beautiful human. We nicknamed him Paopao because he looks like a siopao.

That's all the update I can give for now because having to wake up every two hours at night and go on with the rest of the day as if you had a full night's sleep is no easy feat. But one of these days, I might tell you about my very painful labor, no-epidural delivery story because you might learn a thing of two from it, especially if you are an expecting mom. 

Have a nice day, everyone! 😄

The Beautiful Side of Pregnancy

I know you've been reading (especially from me) a lot of these off-putting things about pregnancy. Well, every horrible thing you hear every mother is going through is all true and would even be an understatement. What you don't hear more often are the beautiful things that happen during pregnancy. Believe me, there are!

So before our world will go topsy-turvy when our little boss comes out, here are the moments I definitely enjoy while pregnant:

36 Weeks!

In news as inconceivable as me finally eating and loving cheese, my OB has put me on a low-carb, less-sugar diet because I have gained 10 pounds within a month and it doesn't show. And for someone who has never been on a diet, IT IS SO DIFFICULT. We're scheduled for our last fetal biometry ultrasound tomorrow and we're hoping the baby has not grown too big because I want to deliver normally.

While waiting for my personal driver (also husband), Jan. I miss sitting at the front seat.

Anyway, I am officially on my 9th month but it already feels like I have been pregnant for 3 years. Everything hurts now. The toilet has been both my bestfriend and enemy. I get too exhausted even though I've only taken 7 steps the whole day. And I am always hungry.

On Having Dark Armpits and Embracing It

My armpits, although not perfect, is something I was not insecure about. I used to have fair armpits. It was not exactly flawless but it was enough for me to raise my arms confidently, until this pregnancy. I knew this is normal.

But I also knew that having dark, unsightly underarms is always unwelcomed, heavily criticized and, who knows, is close to becoming a taboo.

When I took this selfie, I realized how bad my armpits have become (I swear these look worse up close). I was about to delete this and give myself another round of self-disgust when the little one gave me the strongest kick I have ever felt. I was reminded that this is happening because I am carrying a life inside me. But more than that, I was reminded that I am human. Never perfect and always flawed.