I don't have a job right now. And maybe a lot of you are wondering how the f*ck was I able to survive three months of paying bills and tuition fees, splurging on unneccessary stuff, and gallivanting without having a stable and full-time job. I do have a few Mobile App design jobs however, and I depended so much on my savings to sustain every whim (wrong move, I know). But just when August ended, I realized that I am running out of funds. Really.

After revamping my blog with this awesome free theme from ThemeXpose that I absolutely love, I decided to remove the archive list widget for good in hopes of decluttering my sidebar. However, I still want to offer you, my dear readers, an easy way to backtrack and dig my old posts just in case you want to read about how I sucked at handling life, or just for the heck of hate-reading me, or simply, just because you want to get to know me more (aaaawww ♥). So I decided to go for an archives page instead.

There is something about waterfalls that draws me to it. Perhaps it's the sound the raging waters create as water drops from above, releasing "feel good" mists when you're close to it. Or simply because waterfalls - no matter how small or big they are - are powerful, majestic, and beautiful. I have the same reaction to the sea as well - the sound of the waves resonates positive vibes. Nature indeed has wonderful ways of removing negative energies from within. And this is why despite the conveniences and comforts the city life brings, my body will always seek refuge in communing with nature no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable it can become.
This is the beautiful Aliwagwag Falls, located in Cateel, Davao Oriental. Deemed as the highest waterfalls in the Philippines, this photo has not even shown its full glory. I took this photo right after I had a little accident. I was walking up the bridge to get a better view and angle. I was so mesmerized by the cascading beauty that without a warning my foot slipped into a water drainage and I fell over. I got up immediately, took this shot like nothing happened before I realized I was bleeding. That small mishap left me with a nasty scraped shin about four inches big - not as big as the memories I have of this place though. Charaught! Haha. But really, I ought to be extra careful next time.

Kadayawan Festival was a blast. And I'm sure of that even though I wasn't actually there to witness it. I grew up celebrating Kadayawan Festival in Davao City and it has always been great. Not that I'm not proud of it, but for a change, Jan and I decided to escape the crowd and took a 5-hour ride to Mati, Davao Oriental instead.

After all the stress from work last week, I believe we deserve this much needed break. Well, what can I say? I think I left my heart in Mati - home of the famous Dahican Beach. It is by far the best beach I've ever been. I love how it remains underdeveloped, unspoiled, and untamed. And despite the number of tourists, skimboarders and surfers around, there was a sense of tranquility.

I couldn't count the number of times I've told Jan how the beach took my breath away. The turquoise waters, white sand, the big and playful waves, plus the sunny weather just made everything perfect. When we decided (out of impulse) to go to Mati, I didn't know we were in for a treat!

Finally, Sunday! The week has been pretty exhausting. I never thought that running a food business can be draining, especially for us who have no experience, training, or whatsoever on this.

Just to give you a little background, my friends and I started this food business that will run for the whole duration of Hudyakaan sa Kadayawan starting August 14 until August 23. I thought we've had a good start-up plan. Menu, costing, staff, and equipment were all planned out well but when put into the actual situation of serving beer and pulutan to an overwhelming number of customers, everything seemed to whirl in eddies that I was left stupefied and, not to mention, clumsy. But I'm glad we made it through our first night without losing money and sanity; although I can say it was kind of a disaster. Haha.

Popong Landero in the house!

Last week, a friend asked me to create a vector art of our dear Mayor Rody Duterte to support her advocacy in encouraging him to run for Presidency. Okay, I'll be honest with you. I really don't like the idea of him running for President. You see, I, for one, love him so much that we don't want anything bad for our dear Mayor.

I have had six heart attacks. Pag presidente ako, I have to deal with Bangsamoro and may China pa. Mamatay ako. But if I can get Joma Sison, Nur Misuari, the Bangsamoro to agree, then I will run but they must drop their arms first. It will be an all inclusive government,"  -Duterte (source)

See? It would not be an easy task.

I'm posting this because I'm so damn proud of this man and so damn proud of myself. I missed doing vectors and it has been more than 3 years since the last time I did this. I am amazing! And I am the best! Okay, this is my blog and I can say whatever I want! Haha. Kidding aside, I think I'll soon be scanning all the doodles I did and turn them digital. That is, if I don't get lazy. Hehe. :)
Vector art is one of the forms of art that I love doing. I am inspired and I've got time to spare. Who knows? I might do one for a random person, a friend, or a blogger for free. *wink*

It's August. Cheeses, where did time go?!

I have made it more than halfway through 2015 and thought it would be good to see how I'm doing. I know it's still early to say this but so far 2015 turned out quite well. Although turning 30 this year didn't seem to have a really big impact in my life like how I expected it should be. Perhaps I am still having a hard time realizing that I've lived three decades already because deep inside, I still feel like I'm in my early twenties or maybe even younger. But of course, for 30 years, I've seen how life can sometimes be sneaky in delivering valuable lessons right in front of me. And there were those times that I just wish I had known them sooner in life. Just like...

Sun, sand, and the sea. What else can make me more excited?

Virgin Island. Where the water meets the heavens.

Dolphins.

Yes, dolphins.

I've always wanted to go swimming with the dolphins *points at the bucket list at the bottom right side of this blog*. No, I haven't swam with one. Not yet. But dolphin watching is the closest it can get. :)

Okay, I admit it. This is the first time I have traveled again by plane after so many years. And I'm glad to have experienced it with Jan. We've been going around Mindanao lately, and I think it's about time we put our travels a notch up. I believe we needed this getaway. It's the only time we have until we grind our heads back to work again.

We decided to go backpacking to Bohol via Cebu since both of us have never been there. We weren't able to visit all tourist spots in Bohol though as the weather made sure of that. But we made sure that we get to see the famous Chocolate Hills and the tarsiers.
The Chocolate Hills are amazing in actual than just seeing them in pictures. Actually, I didn't expect a lot from it, but we were awed of its splendor and beauty.

Look what came into the mail today! Meet my new slaves of creative expression. After hoarding almost all ball point sizes of Uni Pin pigment ink pens, and now this, I don't want to think things are just starting to get out of hand. Who can resist them, Sharpies?

I am addicted. But I'm not on crack. If I am, then I would say the office supply stores are my drug dealer. I don't know what's with these bookstores and office depots that they always render me powerless. They are evil and I'm vulnerable. There's a force that drags me right into it, put me on a trance as I pass from one aisle to another, and I never leave without clutching a thing or two.

There are artists here in the Philippines that I really admire (and envy) for their first-rate art skills. To name some would be: 1.) the creative dork, Aseo. He is undeniably, one of the greatest illustrators/digital artists to date; and, 2.) Kerby, one of the most talented sketch masters I've ever known.

I've been following these artists since time immemorial and even created some artworks inspired by them. I've done vectors and vexels before. And I know it would take years of practice before I get on par with Aseo. But at least, I tried. :)

Anyway, today (actually, not just today), Kerby inspired me to doodle. I saw his DIY Pen holder and thought I'd make one too.

I feel a little creative. Hence,

Jan came over yesterday because it's my nephew's first birthday. We decided to watch a movie after stuffing our tummies with the yummies. I wanted to watch something light, so he recommended Easy A. I thought it was just another sloppy teen comedy but the nonstop wisecracks kept me absorbed that even my chick-flick-hating self absolutely loved it. And yes, not only because it is Emma Stone, but it is funny and smart as well.

Just so you know, I am not really into movies. I'm not the type who likes to just sit still and watch passively. So if you're one of my friends who's been to the movies with me, then perhaps you're one of those who got annoyed with my incessant blabbing of movie flaws, logic, and inconsistencies because unfortunately I have the ability not to ignore small things that don't make sense. No wonder I get constantly told, "pagtan-aw na lang gud dira!" (Shut up and just watch the goddamn movie!)

I've finally set up my work station. My sacred space. It is still a work in progress though as I plan on putting a cork board and a clock on the wall. And until I don't have a big monitor and a very comfy chair, then I cannot say I'm all set. But for now, I can say my work space is absolutely my favorite place in the house.

Remember how my desk looked before? Well, my blog does. And that was already the tidiest it can get. Thought I'd show you this new sacred sanctuary while it is still in its immaculate form. I know myself well, and I don't think this clean desk will last a week. But I will try to keep things neat every now and then. That's a promise.

I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am to have a "talent" or at least I say, a knack for art. I have been quite isolated lately. The drastic change of priorities and my responsibilities left me with no choice but to stay home. Believe me, being withdrawn for weeks from the society made me feel burnt out, stressed, and down. When writing just doesn't cut it, becoming creative with pen and paper is all the therapy I need. :)

My first attempt to do zentangles. :)

I am 30 today. And since I've already given myself a treat on the last few hours of the decade that has been my twenties, I decided to stay home, sit in silence and savor the moment being in complete solitude.

If there's one thing I've given myself valuable for my birthday, it is this solitude. Yes, I am used to being alone. But those moments were never profound. I never had this chance of having a complete possession of my own thoughts, my feelings, my senses, and my soul.

The road going there isn't easy. There's not even a road to begin with. Of all my travel adventures, riding a habal-habal is the very least of the things I enjoyed. Heck, I never really liked it at all. I just have a high tolerance for heat, dusts, and leg cramps. And that was it. But believe me when I say I enjoyed this ride. This rough and rocky ride.

I'm running out of space and I still think I need more books.

Yep, that's the problem. I don't think there's such thing as having enough shelves. Haha. That and bumping into a post or a wall while walking and reading are just few of the many problems a bookworm encounters. Allow me to share with you 15 more. And please, don't take it lightly because the struggle is real.

Yesterday, Jan and I watched Schindler's List. It reminded me of my obsession with the Nazis which started back when I saw one of my classmates in Fifth grade drew a swastika symbol (actually it was doodled all over his notebook). I asked him what it was and he started telling me with great enthusiasm about Hitler, the killing of the Jews, and how great of a leader he was. I was fascinated. In fact, too fascinated that I came to the point of always putting a swastika symbol next to my name. Excuse the ignorance, at that very young age, we really did not know what we were so fascinated about. And we had no idea about the darkest days that ever happened in human history. All we knew back then was that it looked cool bearing that swastika.

Since then, I've shown interest about the Nazi - from the documentaries, to books, to everything about Hitler. I've read Mein Kampf, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, a few other books with titles that I could no longer recall, and some fiction/non-fics that I have on my shelf that have eventually opened my eyes and led me to disgust Hitler and his mustache. And it's such a shame that I've been claiming to be obsessed with such yet I haven't watched Schindler's List until yesterday. I'm more devoted in books than on movies though. Well, what can I say? Schindler's List is one of the most powerful films I've ever seen. Even more powerful than the neo-Nazi setting film, American History X.

Some of the most compelling Nazi/Holocaust books that I have.

I am still fascinated with anything related to the Nazi regime. But my interest is fueled not on the ideologies of Hitler and the monstrosities brought about by his equally evil followers. The Nazis embody nothing but pure evil. Everything under the regime is downright despicable. And I don't want to think I'm exaggerating. However, I admit that at a certain level, I have admired Hitler's reign. I do give credit how great Hitler was. I mean, I think it's worth understanding how humans fell under the influence of one person who motivated a nation to such an ideological level, isn't it? It is undeniably amazing. Really.

Whenever something big or a drastic change happens in your life, you end up explaining a thousand times what the eff just happened and why. Case in point, the day I said goodbye to my normal/regular (or however you call it) office day job.

I love how my close friends eagerly asked for details about what I am going through, the changes - be it negative or positive - in my life, how am I coping, and what my plans are. I am happy to know that people care. And I apologize if I'm not too keen on details. It's not that I don't have the guts to tell you about the crap I went through, it's just that I'm too lazy to lay it all down (again and again and again). I am totally fine, I promise.

Okay, that's a lie. Truth is, I never expected I'd go through a phase of separation anxiety that I found myself binge-eating on Snickers and pathetically watching videos of funny animals. And funny babies. And Spongebob Squarepants. I tried to read a book and catch up with the tv series I've been missing. Apparently, nothing works. I still feel a little bit down.

Anticipation is creeping in. 2 hours. 2 hours more and everything will be shut down, signed out, and perhaps forgotten. My desk  that used to be a home of a cutesy pup plushie, scratch papers, post-its, and candy wrappers now screams emptiness. This room, once a nest of brilliant people fueled by passion, is now an empty space only filled with the deafening chorus of the air condition and our keyboard strokes.

Nothing is going to be certain from here. But there's one thing that I am sure of, I will miss the people who showed me support and encouragement at times of pressure and failure which ultimately led me to discover my inner strength and true capabilities. My colleagues, workadas, friends, or however I call them, have become and will always be a family to me.