I wasn't really a big fan of souvenirs. When Jan and I traveled far and wide, we didn't bring anything home with us but pictures and memories until our first trip in Boracay (emphasis on the word first because we're going back there soon and I hope I'm not jinxing it by prematurely announcing it. lol).

Fridge magnets were everywhere there and they were cheap (around Php 50). Which, I supposed, triggered that fridge magnet nut case in me when a thought occurred that a fridge magnet from every destination might be a good idea. So we bought 3 magnets (for Jan's home, for my parents' home, and our future home). And the rest, as they say, is history.

This is what we have a little over a year later. Our collection is growing. Most of these are from our travels and some are from our friends. I honestly regret not buying magnets from Universal Studios and Hong Kong Disneyland - but this would also give me a reason to go back there. Kaya di bale nang mahal, basta bibili na talaga ako.

I've never been this scared my whole life.

I honestly thought that a 50-foot cliff jumping was the scariest thing I've ever done until I had to pass a practical driving exam.

I was certain I knew what to do but I just got cold all over, my heart was beating fast, my breath was short, palms were sweaty, mom's spaghetti.

Apparently, I failed the practical exam. I think I celebrated prematurely when I aced the written exam since everybody said it is difficult. I thought the practical exam is going to be a breeze since I’ve already driven in a highway quite a number of times and I was fine. I expected to show only simple driving skills. Forward, backward, turn left and right. Ganun lang. Instead, I was asked to parallel park. As if simple parking is not hard enough.

I think the examiner saw that I actually know how to drive. I thank the high heavens he didn't cut me entirely. I was given another chance and it was a do or die situation for me.

I was already in distress because I do not want to blow the chance given to me. So kind of stupid as it is, I actually watched videos and practiced online. Hahaha. Oh sure, it was tooooo easy to do in a simulator. But in real life? It’s like you’ve already tried 30 times, wasted 20 minutes, pissed 7 people off, and hit a a tree. And it could get worse.

Jan came to the rescue. He got off early from work to help me with my parking skills. I'm still not confident about parking, but Jan's teachings did help a lot. But if there's one thing I've learned that I am sure is helpful in the future, it had to be this:

How to parallel park:
Step 1. Park somewhere else.


Update: I passed my exam and got my driving license. :)

I guess Jan and I need an attitude makeover.

You see, we've been together in more than 20 flights. And perhaps a little less than half of that are, at least, an hour to three hours delayed. And not one, not a single free flight voucher from any airline has been issued to us for the inconvenience while I see a lot of my friends getting free round trip flights for an hour delay.

I think the problem roots to our attitude. We DGAF. We ran out of fukcs to give that we're already missing a lot. We still act calmly even in eventful and stressful situations and I'm starting to think it's a bad thing. What if nag-beast mode kami? Or kahit nagreklamo man lang? I reckon it's going to be different. Ang dami na siguro naming free flights ngayon.

The problem is, parang ang hirap magalit. I've never seen Jan angry. And he's never seen me angry, too. I am not easily offended. Perhaps I might have not reached my boiling point yet. But I still get pissed off. I get pissed off when someone is rude towards me. I get pissed off at disgruntled fast food crews who give me the wrong orders at a time when I am already dying of hunger. I get frustrated when a team member has not done his/her job properly and the situation will be taken out on me. I get annoyed at idiocy and stupidity. BUT...

But you see, those are just a few of the many situations where I've seen normal people start losing their cool and here I am just brushing everything off like nothing happened. The most I can do is to kill someone in my mind 20 times within 5 minutes in a hundred different ways. Or if eye-rolling and sarcasm can kill and count as expressions to anger, you'd be dead before you even know it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a wimp. I can fight, too. I grew up fist-fighting in our neighborhood and I have a little training in martial arts - to which my friend has reiterated that this is scarier than someone who's perpetually angry. Mas nakatakot daw magalit ang taong hindi nagagalit. Eh lalo na yung marunong mag "karate". Haha. So yeah, try me. I wonder what happens when Jan and I get married, move in to our new house, and get into a fight. Knowing him who can throw that perfect uppercut and me who can execute a good roundhouse kick, I guess, kailangan namin ng boxing ring.

Image via gfycat

Should I be worried? I'm afraid this DGAF attitude might be bottling up my anger, explode, and then I become a Hulk (or worse, Peter Griffin) one day.

And also, yeah, still bummed we never got those free flights.

I was eyeing on this particular shoe for several months even though I do not have a reason to wear it. I think boots are completely out of fashion when you're living in a hot and humid country. But I got one just in case I might need it.

Just so you know, I suffer from a different kind of amnesia. The kind of amnesia when you buy something and totally forget about it. Then later on you will just be surprised finding something you didn't know you have and don't know why you bought it in the first place. I know I'm not alone in this.

Well, the boots almost suffered the same fate. But unlike all the other past purchases, it only took 4 months of being kept hidden in the dark before it was pulled right out of its box. I brought it with me in Taiwan because I thought the weather is just perfect for a bootie. And it was.

A post shared by Sarah Andres (@sarwrites) on Nov 15, 2017 at 5:30pm PST

I absolutely love it! I thought I'd never be able to wear it again until the next trip to a cold country - which isn't happening anytime soon because my priorities have changed and traveling isn't really on my top 3. *sniffs*

Then Christmas happened. In November.

Together with other media men from Davao and some members of the Davao Bloggers Society, Smart Communications invited me to a fun-filled Christmas at the Farm party!

Honestly, I didn't know what to wear. I got confused between a Western farmer and a typical cowboy. But whatever I wear, I knew the boots would cut it. I had to make do with what was already in my closet and this was the closest to a farm girl as I could get (or I could have just been a potato).

A post shared by Sarah Andres (@sarwrites) on Nov 25, 2017 at 2:10am PST

I think I pulled it off. The boots are great. It's just that, I don't think I'll ever be able to wear one again. So, in to the box you go, boots.

For the first time in my life, I wished I have the singing voice and be in a musical.

At the backstage with the main cast of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in Newport Performing Arts Theater

I'll be honest. Even though I'm no fashionista and my wardrobe is always out of season, I would be lying if I say I don't like dressing up. It makes me look human.

But what I hate about dressing up is the misery of finding the dress that's actually wearable. And by wearable, I meant something that's casually comfortable but could still be elegant and not unflattering at the same time. For my body type, that's kind of elusive, you know.

My body is so specific. I am skinny but I've got curves. So dresses from the department store can either be too big on the waist or too tight on the bust. Usually, I had my dresses done for me and that's a bummer because it is more expensive than buying RTWs. The ones I got from the department stores are not and will never be perfect fit and had to be sent for repair.

I love dressing up. But before slaying the red carpet, I'd go through a mini meltdown first after browsing a thousand dresses only to try on ten and fit on none. #TheStruggleIsReal

Anyway, I just rocked this dress during my sister's 18th birthday. I had this tailored by K Davao - formerly Kasuotan and it's the most gorgeous thing ever!

Move over, Pia Wurtzbach! Charaught! Haha

My little prince!

My fifty-something (almost 60 teehee) mom who just looks like my sister.

My escort. And I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Kata Gallenito for making me pretty that night. :)

That's one of my bestfriends, Faith. We've been together since time immemorial. We share a lot of things in common and the most remarkable one of all is having a sister that's 14 years younger. L-R Queenie (who also turned 18 two days after Abi's debut and who happens to be my godchild), Faith, Abi (my sister), and me.

I just pulled off one event that requires dressing up and I've got more events like this to slay before the year ends. And this calls for another round of meltdown because I'm already running out of dresses to wear.

"Couldn't you just wear your dresses again?", you may ask. Ummm... No. Simply no. All my dresses suffer the same fate. They'd be worn excitedly for a maximum of four hours then tossed away and forgotten until God knows when. Dresses aren't really practical but you simply cannot not have them.

I love dressing up even though rocking a dress requires an intense commitment to be lady-like, act refined, and do things with poise and grace - something I will never possess. But you know what I've just learned about dressing up? I CAN RUN IN MY 4-INCH HEELS WITH EASE. Now, that is something. Haha

I am an average looking gal. Most of the time, I look like I just rolled and fell from my bed.

image via Imgur

On occasions, I look human. And even though I do not pass as drop-dead gorgeous, I'm not completely unfortunate looking for I've been told more often than not that I look like (insert pretty celebrity name here). While I may not see the resemblance, such words can certainly make my day.

I would usually say "thank you", but I just don't remember if the exact words were able to make it out of my mouth.

But I'm pretty sure I give unconscious knee-jerk responses like a snort or I make face and laugh it off.  Or act excessively modest that I would downplay myself by giving comments directed to my skinniness, or showing them my scarred knees or man hands to make a point that I'm nowhere near the looks of Aubrey Miles or Alessandra de Rossi. Sometimes, I would compliment a person back to move the attention away from me. "Thanks, pero mas maganda ka ui!" Worse, I would make a quick and flippant reply, "I know", out of sarcasm and sound like a douchebag.


I remember when I wore a lipstick to a party once. People told me how great I look, especially my lips. As soon as I was bombarded with compliments how the lipstick suits me well (because it's not everyday you see me don one), I stuffed food into my mouth so I can subtly wipe it off. Okay, that's just an excuse to eat more. But really, I eventually removed it when I had the chance because being the center of attention just puts me in a panic mode.

Mukhang tao. Made up by Pau of PamfortheGlam.com. Photo by Klyde Jarabelo. Sorry girls if I cropped you, ako kasi bida dito. Haha

So if you happen to see me face to face and compliment me about my looks, my clothes, or my skills, expect that gawky smile, lack of eye contact, and perhaps idiotic verbal replies because I am incapable of taking compliments well.

I'm pretty sure I am a confident gal. I am beautiful (sabi ng nanay ko) and I know what I am capable of. I own it. So why can’t I take a compliment seriously? I can only think of four things:

Outside I'm like, "Hindi naman masyado." But inside I'm like... (image via knowyourmeme.com)

1. I fear I might sound cocky if I accept compliments without disputing and pointing out my weaknesses.

2. I would think not every compliment can come across as genuine. Worse, I would start to think to myself, "Great. What do you want?" Tsk. Bad girl.

3. I overthink and read through the compliments. "Why are they saying that? Do I look sloppy? Oh gawd, maybe I look ridiculous and they're just trying to make me feel good."

4. I watched too much Mean Girls (I could quote the whole movie, you know) and think everybody's like Regina George.

5. It's April 1st.

Anyway, I have two formal events and three weddings to attend to before the year ends. That means I'll be wearing something that may make people gang up on me again and make it feel like I won an Oscar or something. I always get that but I don't think I could ever get used to that. Although I wish in the next two weeks people will compliment me about weight gain because I need to fit in my sister's dresses badly. Haha.

The internet says the only way to accept a compliment graciously is to simply smile and say thank you. Well, I never thought something that easy can be so uncomfortable and tricky. But I will try.

This morning, just like every morning, I woke up earlier than my alarm feeling groggy. And to make things worse, I hit the corner of my bedside bookshelf with my head. I could have gone dramatic over a small, assumed-concussion like what I always do when my hormones go on a monthly overdrive and tell Jan my last goodbyes in case I didn't make it out of bed.

But I'm fine. Just bruised and perhaps grumpy.

Life lately (image via catster.com)

Well, this is not really new to me. This Sarah is not Sarah without a scratch or a bruise. I stumble over everything and constantly hurt myself without even knowing it. I believe I was built to walk into walls, spill drinks, knock stuff over, or trip over my own feet. I guess my life will not only be spent wondering how I got a new bruise but also finding the purpose and real meaning of my accident-prone life.

So the next time you see me with bruises in the most unusual places, please be kind enough to smile at me because I'm going through something. Being battered by my own clumsiness, especially having those mini-heart attacks thinking I might land on the floor again on a daily basis, is not easy.

I wish I could say that this is slightly exaggerated but that's what it's like living a klutz life.

Dodgy.

I think that's the perfect word to describe the hotel we booked to. Maybe it's just an exaggeration, or worse, it could be an understatement. Whatever that is, we hope to get out of there alive.

If you are wondering what I'm talking about... Well, Jan and I booked a 4-night stay at a place that has been known for its notorious reputation. The Chungking Mansions. I know. What the hell were we thinking, right? How have we gotten ourselves absolutely reckless?

We could put ourselves partly at fault because we did not do research. But in our defense, coming from a third-world country that has, with all honesty, a few horrible hotel accommodations, we thought it was undeniably practical to book in a cheap place that conveniently stands in a desirable location. I mean, this is Hong Kong we're talking about, how could it get any worse? Since we're not fussy about hotel rooms, anything will be fine. We banked on reviews and not one has ever hinted that it is a hub for drug peddlers, sex traffickers, and other illicit activities until Jan's cousin who lived and worked there pointed that out. Backed by blogs about some of the travelers' awful experiences, apparently, we did not read enough.

Jan called Agoda and asked if we can cancel our booking. But alas! Discounted budget hotels come with no-refund-no-cancellation policy and has done us in. We already got our long-term financial priorities sorted out that we can't waste another penny to book to a highly priced and less-than-ideally located hotel. Told him, we'll just get on with it.

I would be lying if I say it didn't scare me. But I think it scared the shit out of me that I almost don't feel scared anymore. Rather curious, intrigued, excited. Maybe a little worried. But at least, I would have something exciting to blog about. Haha. #ParaSaBlog

Crossing my fingers that this trip will push through. Because honestly, what scares me more is the fact that we still don't have the flight tickets for our Hong Kong trip and we only have ten days left. And you know what's also really scary? Those offloading stories at the airport. Imagine having everything planned, booked, and packed only to end up being denied of travel. Ugh. Que horror!


Update: We're (obviously) alive! Stayed at Tom's Guest House at Block C and I would say, it's safe there.

Do you know how it is to agonize over shoes? I know. Because I did. And it was silly.

There is this pair of shoes that I totally have a crush on. I already bought a pair of sneakers (the same brand) last March, a pair of sandals, loafers, and boots last July. Having another footwear that I barely even use because I don't go out of the house often is not practical. But I really want it so badly that I have repeatedly scoured a few online websites for weeks, only to die a little bit inside each time I see they don't have my size. I told myself bitterly that maybe those shoes are not meant for me.

I decided to just totally forget about it and move on. After all, there's nothing like having an epic epiphany to slap me in the face and remind me of the things I need to save for. Hoy, may incoming trips ka pa, Sarah! Tigil mo na yan.

Yesterday, Jan and I bought tickets to watch Patay Na Si Hesus but since we still have an hour to kill before the movie starts, we decided to do some window shopping.

We entered Onitsuka Tiger and it was the first thing I saw. I've only seen it in pictures but it was even more beautiful in person. I tried it on immediately but it was a tad bigger for me.

Me: Excuse me kuya, do you have a size smaller than this?
Salesman: Smallest na po yung display.

Ouch. Heartbroken ulit. Di talaga sya para sa akin.

Salesman: Maam, gusto nyo pong kunin ko yung pares nya para masubukan nyo?
Me: Wag na kuya, baka matempt lang ako. (in my mind: baka bilhin ko pa kahit di magkasya)

Then he disappeared and came back a few minutes later carrying a box of shoes, sporting an evil grin like he knows it's going to be a good day for him.

Salesman: Maam may size 5 po kami! (They come in men's size, which is equivalent to women's 7)

(Cue the music) Tukso, Layuan Mo Akoooooo

I slipped them on and they already feel so comfortable like they've been broken in. I sat down while my feet were still in it and carefully thought and pondered about it just so I can pretend it's not an impulsive buy. I must sacrifice some things if I want to have this pair. And what sacrifice it was. I'm not exactly Miss-Big-Spender. I don't buy makeups. I don't party. I don't have new clothes. I'm not big on fast food and overrated coffees. So the only thing I can sacrifice would be my *deep breath* dates with Jan (we do 50-50 and we splurge since we don't see each other as often as we'd want to).

I gave out a soft sigh, looked down, removed the shoes, carefully put it back in its box, and returned it to the salesman.

Last night, I received an email saying I screwed up a website big time. But I wasn't worried because I knew I've triple-checked my work before I delivered. So, if there's anything, it was definitely not my fault. I decided to just sleep it off and send my reply the next day only to wake up to a much more terrible news.

Chester Bennington took his own life.

Half the year has gone and as much as I want to take some time to review how my life has progressed in 2017, I just kept rolling my eyes.

Enter July. It has been raining lately and getting out of the bed every morning is becoming more and more difficult. But I do love waking up to cold mornings and grey skies. It's perfect for lazy people like me... which I think is also a bad thing because I still have more blog posts to put together. Product reviews, events, and a few travel posts that I keep putting off because... well. I am just damn too lazy.

I don't think I'll ever make it as a travel blogger nor will I ever be a good blogger. The fact that I simply don't like taking pictures of everything I do just amplified the truth that I am a terrible social media influencer.

But I am trying, really. I have just revived my Instagram account from the dead in hopes of sending my content across in a different way. Because truth be told, people (including me) are getting lazier and would rather scroll down through the photos than read posts. This kind of blogging style is dying. But I will keep on writing just so I have something to ponder on when I get old.

The rebirth of my Instagram is nothing but throwbacks of the travel photos I've never posted before, and some unflattering and awkward poses of me. I barely have followers. In order to create a cult following, one needs to have a curated feed and well-staged aesthetically-pleasing photos - something that I am struggling to have. I know, barf. More than ten years of blogging and it was only just recently when I decided to build my personal brand. That means I have to create more social media profiles with information about me fully (or selectively) fleshed out, not to mention I have got to learn slayin' those pina-blaggir poses. Oh gawd. Why do I have to do this? No one's going to be interested anyway.

Anyway, I just bought a dress online because I just want to be pabebe for once. It says it's free size but best fits small to medium frames. No offense meant, but I didn't know that plus size is the new small. Hindi naman siguro ako ganyan kapayat. Am I? Believe it or not, my waist line is 26. I wear a 27-28 pants. But I'm too lazy to return the item and argue with the seller. Gawin ko na lang syang daster pambahay. 

Expectations vs Reality. False advertisement at its finest.

Keep writing.

That's what Jan told me when he gave me a mechanical keyboard. I've always wanted one but I feel wary about spending too much for a goddamn keyboard that pretty much does the same thing a cheap keyboard would. I never really thought of actually owning one.

But Jan knows better than spoiling me with flowers and teddy bears. He knows me too well. He knows I'll go gaga over this. And naturally, I went gaga over this typing just every word I know. Ketchup. Turtle. Benevolent. Oblong. Sound. Glorious. Sound. Much. Amaze. Wow.

Only three things make up my Facebook wall: travel, shameless plugging of my blog, and politics. And since I am living in Mindanao, the crisis might have gave way for you to guess that my Facebook wall is currently active. I made 4 posts since the declaration of Martial Law in Mindanao three days ago and I think that's already a lot.

So if you want to see how I am doing with my life or if you want to look for something to blackmail me with, dig into this blog. I have cringe-worthy and hideous photos buried here since 2007. Stalking my Facebook profile won't do you any good and will only leave you with one question, "nagtatrabaho pa ba itong babaeng ito? Bakit puro gala ang nakikita ko." (That's what I've been always asked at least). There are far more interesting things you can find here. Things that I never post on Facebook. But I'm warning you, there are some things you cannot unread. LOL.

Anyway, this week has really been crazy. In fact, the past few weeks have been batshit crazy I would be terrified if I go through a week with no sh*t happening at all. Not!

Things that irked me this week:
1. Last-minute tasks that must be finished immediately. Masyado ko yatang ginalingan. Hindi ako robot ui!
2. Raissa Robles. Tirahin mo na ang lahat, wag lang talaga ang Davao. Don't us! 

3. PRRD's rape joke. Haay Digong! Cut it out already. You are better than that.
4. This tanga face as I spoke in front of millennials and intimidating-looking people.

I once trimmed my bangs back when YouTube tutorials did not exist yet. I wanted to sport the same bangs like the celebrity most kids looked up to - she's no other than the legendary mother of all jologs:

Jolina Magdangal (image from pep.ph)

And no doubt, I had the most perfect bangs ever. I was even certain I looked like a celebrity.

I already told myself a million times that I'll never ever take any advice from Google whenever I feel something unusual in my body. It's a terrible idea. But if you knew me very well, then you'd know what I would do. And I did what I shouldn't have.

I have a pancreafuckintitis.

Last Monday was the first time I ever had a blue cheese and I almost gagged. In front of scholars, businessmen, and the Australian ambassador to the Philippines. But since everything else on my plate was utterly delicious, I was able to compose myself, swallowed the cheese whole and immediately stuffed my mouth with the best Australian pie I ever had before disaster could ever happen - afraid that I may never be invited to such event again and be remembered as the girl who caused ruckus just because she cannot eat cheese (as if the overwhelming judgement I face regularly as someone who doesn't love cheese is not enough).
I cannot fathom how people could eat a mouthful of blue cheese as if it was just a chocolate or something. Cheeses cries! I should have just kept my cheese hatred in silence because I have been answering the same question over and over again since day one, how come you don't like cheese? Telling people you don't like cheese is like telling a devotee you don't believe in their god and they will spend all day persuading you to see the light.

I think my cat, Appa, thinks I am super adorable that he decided to bite me. Well, if I had it my way, that's how I would show my fondness to Jan too. Except, there will be no bleeding.

Appa is actually sweet and affectionate. He follows me wherever I am. He sits on my lap whenever I work. Snuggles beside me when I'm on my bed. And right now, alcsfnhacflhan ;j;dh;jhb[dtu[ he's helping me write this post. Awww... thank you so much, buddy! His sweetness makes me forget that cats are naturally shady characters. Perhaps, he was actually trying to murder me because his breakfast was not served on time. I did not see him the whole day, so I can only assume he's plotting his next move after a failed murder attempt.

But if my cat did not kill me, the rabies shots will. Google simply told me that one vial costs more than a thousand pesos and I need at least 3 shots for it. 4 if he's proven rabid (which I think he's not. I believe he's just a murderous, raving lunatic). The cost did give me a heart attack but not close to killing me though. Try harder, Appa.

Anyway, I rushed to the Animal Bite Center and had some tetanus and rabies shots. And surprisingly, I did not have to pay for the shots. Yaaaas! I just have to shell out Php 82.50 for the injection fee for all sessions. Then I went off my merry way knowing I just got off the hook from dying a horrific death.

Afterwards, I decided to have a burger for breakfast and walked mindlessly towards Jollibee when a CTTM Officer called my attention. And the next thing I know, I am scheduled to attend a mandatory pedestrian orientation for violating the city's Anti-Jaywalking Ordinance. I think I could've died of embarrassment while being apprehended in public. But I was just laughing inside my head asking what the fudge have I gotten myself into this time.

Well, shit happens. And it's a fact in life that we can never get away from. But it's not permanent. So that's okay. My mornings usually follow the same boring routine. A bite from a suspected murderous cat and a jaywalking ticket just added a little flavor to it. But I will certainly not have any of that ever again because it doesn't taste good. But hey, I had Jollibee's Chiken Joy for lunch with Jan at home... so it's not a bad day after all. :)

The past week until today has been the Mondayest week ever. To be honest, it felt like I am stuck in an episode of The Walking Dead where everything nasty and ugly is chasing you and badly wants you dead (and here I am talking as if I watch TWD). For more than a week, I really thought the universe hates me because nothing seems to go right. I was already on the verge of becoming a nutcase. Then Columbia happened.

And bubble wraps. Yes, bubble wraps kept me sane.

I don't always get sick but when I do I get the nastiest cough and cold virus ever. I think this is the first time in 2016 that I got hit (yeah, I'm a hardy like that). I was all and well training Muay Thai, then the next day I have a sore throat, then came the fever, and now my voice is gone. I have an annoying dry cough, my nose is stuffy, and I can't breathe properly.

I hate being sick because it makes me lose my appetite and I end up feeling completely incapable of taking care of myself. I hate that I feel too needy. Jan has been going the extra mile to take care of me when in fact I could have done things myself. Although I love it this way (spoiled girlfriend alert teehee), being sick still sucks.

And the worst thing about being sick is the timing. The body could have chosen another time to weaken and lay all the drama of dying. I cannot afford to be sick when I have to impress the client with my awesome skills and fast delivery. But work is not something I could do properly when the head is all foggy. I couldn't get a lot of stuff done. Even writing this post is a beast.

I really hope I get better soon because I have a prestigious and BIIIIIG event to attend to. Not that I am excited about it (the word prestigious scares me). But damn! It is something I don't want to miss.

Ito talaga yun eh. Ito lang naman kinain ko bago ako nagkasakit.