How I wish I can.

Just when you feel that everything around is trying to crush your spirit and put you down, you will realize that people who suck the life out of you actually exist. Sometimes it makes me wonder how people can actually take advantage of your kindness just to get what they want and feel no remorse about it.

This post is a little late because it took me a while to gather up all the resources that I needed for this entry. Pictures, yes. See? That's how bad of a blogger I am. I am too lazy to take pictures of events that I should be blogging about. More so, post-process and beautify those pictures with filters and words to make it look more enticing. I wish I have the diligence to do so, especially that I am a graphics designer (sigh). Anyway, enough of the drama, I've got more interesting stories to share than mope about why I fail at such.

Last March 3 2015, I was invited to join a HipHop Fitness Soiree brought to you by My Skin Origins and The Greene Dare. Without second thoughts I scampered around my room and prepared my outfit for the event all the while thinking (and sometimes performing) a few hiphop moves. Surprisingly, I still know how to pop. It's not a big event but yes, I was so excited like I am going to a grand alumni homecoming, except I won't be reuniting with old friends.

The muscles at my lower extremities are pretty sore, I could really use a relaxing massage right now.

But I am not complaining. As my fingers are typing the very words you see at the moment, I try to numb down the soreness with these medicated pain relief patches that I plastered all over my thighs and legs. Doesn't really take away the pain but it's better than nothing. I have been walking around the house, giving off waves of peppermint and I think it smells pretty good. Haha.

You see, I barely survived my 5K run early this morning. No matter, I had fun.

I still use it anyway.

I'll be honest with you. Facebook, or the people using Facebook can be annoying as hell. However, no Facebook posts are more annoying than a person who complains about how annoying Facebook is. Just like this one. So yeah, I'm gonna annoy you with things about Facebook that annoy me so much that I have to waste precious time blogging about it. Here goes...

Yup, this is me losing the battle against cheesy Filipino movies. I don't really like watching love stories, let alone Pinoy movies for their unoriginal, predictable, and overly promoted but usually half-assed quality production. To tell you honestly, Pinoy movies suck big time right now. No. Let me rephrase that. Over-hyped Pinoy movies suck big time. But this, this film that humbly made its way to the big screens really got me. It somehow hoisted the downward spiral of the once great Philippine movie industry, didn't it? We need more movies like this. Movies that actually foster creativity over profit.

I regret not paying attention to my Chinese lessons. You see, I have spent my entire preschool and grade school days at Stella Maris Academy of Davao, where almost everyone you meet is fair-skinned, chinky-eyed, and with a surname that consists of only two to three letters.

For eight years, I have repeatedly written stroke after stroke after stroke those Chinese characters in our shadi-po. I was fluent during those times of our graded oral recitation. I sang songs in Chinese. And I knew how to pray in Chinese fairly well. But all these felt like a formidable task that I dreaded it just the same as my Math lessons.

Surviving that eight-year plight didn't mean anything though, for all I can clearly utter right now are the words wo ai ni, ni hao ma, and count from one to ten. If there's anything I knew by heart, it would be the cussing in Chinese. Haha. Well, who doesn't?

Having a pet.

I have always been a dog person. Since the time I was born until I graduated in college, I have always had a dog. Being the only child (for 14 years), I considered my pooches as part of the family - a sibling. Someone I've slept with, cuddled with, shared my food with and talked to whenever I feel down. They're smart and they know how to empathize that you'll forget they are not human. I bet, they are even smarter, more compassionate, and have more heart than half the people you meet.

You know you're old when you start not giving a f*ck about what people will think about you; case in point, I went out in public, unkempt. If wearing a wrinkled clothing is a crime, I would now be serving a life sentence.

Not that I did it unknowingly. Since I was already too late for work, I didn't mind warming up the iron. Besides, I never really iron my clothes. I avoid creased pants like plague. I know it's not one of my best days and I definitely looked sloppy (pants and collared shirt fresh from the clean laundry basket, matched with Chuck Taylors that has seen better days). But who cares? I strode down the road as I wore what seemed to be cringe-worthy, with pride.

It's not what you think it is. But I believe I just died for about 3-4 seconds before I realized I just conquered my fear.

Yesterday, my friends and I decided to go to Kaputian at Samal Island to, well, do that cliff jump. Getting there is just easy. You just have to follow that concrete road and look for the sign that says Acantilado, and bam! You're there.

This post is a little bit late. Not that I'm getting lazy but I am still at lost for words to what I am about to blog. You see, the boyfriend surprised me with a journal. And it is not just a journal. It is an Alunsina Handbound Book!
Now, for everyone who doesn't know what an Alunsina Handbound Journal is and why I make it sound so special, allow me to give a brief introduction.

I still refuse to believe I am fangirling and actually writing about my teenage fascination to boybands. 98 Degrees, The Moffatts, Westlife, Boyzone, Hanson, N'Sync, and last but not the least, Backstreet Boys. What's the big deal? I am twenty-freakin-nine! 

So now, what can be more frustrating going to the beach when typhoon signal #1 was declared? Nothing. Unlike us, nature doesn't have a schedule. If it rains it will rain. But why sulk about it when we can do more? Mindanao is teeming with a lot of wonders. In a snap, we decided to go scuba diving at the south instead. Yes, changing plans is that easy - if you're always open and up for it.

Thought I would be spending Christmas alone. Yes, I  mean it. Alone. You see, my family made a last-minute decision to spend the Christmas eve at Sarangani Province - a three hour drive from Davao City- with our relatives. I, on the other hand, had an important business to deal with that is going to happen at the end of the day. I only have two choices here: Either I travel to Sarangani at 6pm getting me there by 9pm to which is already unsafe because firecrackers will be exploding everywhere on every street with a medium to high risk of losing a finger or a limb in the crossfire; Or I spend the Christmas here alone.

I have an old shoe box that sits on top of my closet. I never got to touch it since the time I posted about the same old shoe box back in 2011. It has gotten too dusty and too frail to hold all the letters and other memorabilia that were in it.

Old letters from my old shoe box

My old friends knew me too well. They knew how much I love sending letters, much more, receiving and reading one. My childhood bestfriend, Faith, and I exchanged letters since grade school even though we are living in the same city and not to mention, we see each other every Sunday.

I wish Baymax was real. Jan is sick. And so am I. I could really use one big huggable inflatable robot that looks like a giant marshmallow right now.

My Baymax is rather slim. Haha

I don't think anyone's going to disagree with me if I say we all need a Baymax in our lives.We need someone who would be there for us and make sure we're alright after we've been hurt. (It is alright to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.)

I've got three words: I. Don't. Know.

They say that once you have found the one, you just know it. But the truth is, no you don't. Anyone struck by the stupid cupid's arrow would always feel like he/she has found the one. Kahit sino naman siguro, kapag mahal mo, lagi mong iisipin na siya na. Pero hindi pala. Yeah, I've been there. Done that. Apparently, the one I thought was the one isn't the one after all.

Right now, I am in a relationship where I am genuinely happy. Whatever I feel is more than just the butterflies in my tummy. It goes deeper than that. This is the point in my life when I know love isn't just a magical feeling but a decision to make. This is when I say I want him in my life. This is when I chose to love him despite the odds and all those shit that came along. I love him not because he is an amazing person, or because he can make me laugh, or because I feel home whenever I'm with him, or because he makes me a better person. I love him just because I love him despite his flaws and imperfections.

Since Christmas is drawing nearer and nearer and, truth be told, getting more commercialized than ever, and people are in the subject of making wishlists... magpapahuli ba naman ako? I'm making a list, and checking it twice, gotta find out if I missed anything nice. Will Santa Claus be coming to town? Haha.

Anyway, here's my wishlist (ordered according to level of desire with 1 being the highest):

1. Journal/Planner
I would be thrilled to have an Alunsina Handbound Journal/Planner. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else. I would like to keep a journal again next year. The blog is for public consumption, while this will serve as a diary, a sketchpad, and a scrapbook on-the-go where I can write down my deepest and darkest(?!) thoughts. Haha. A nice pen to go with that would also be great.

This is one of my favorites. I actually love all their products!

I don't really brag about my purchases, except for the books and for this one. But save those sneers, what I am about to brag has a little story to tell.

You must understand, after I first set foot on Mt. Apo with my ever reliable Sandugo sandals, my feet got sunburn and blisters. So I promised myself a good pair of shoes for this kind of adventure. It took me almost a decade to be able to afford one. And here it is! Finally.

Well, I must have been very nice this year because I got the perfect(est), best(est), and comfiest hiking shoes this Christmas! Woot! And the best part is, I definitely am the luckiest when I got this.

Earlier today, my workmates and I visited Providence Home of St. Joseph at Tugbok District, Davao City. It is a home which caters abused, abandoned, neglected, and orphaned children. At first I thought of it as an ordinary outreach activity, something like those any other outreach programs required by our schools way back in high school and college. But this time, it's different. I guess when you grow up and do things willingly, you see things differently.

We had the usual programme: introduction, games, presentations, yadda yadda. Then the children took us by surprise with their numbers, when in fact, we should be the one surprising them. It was a lot fun than I expected. Yes, I was more inclined to the fun part. I was never emotional when it comes to this. But what gave me away was when they sang a Christmas song with the words:

Lagi mo na maiisip na sila'y nandito sana
At sa Noche Buena ay magkakasama.
Ang pasko ay kay saya kung kayo'y kapiling na
Sana pagsapit ng Pasko, kayo'y naririto...

To my non-Filipino speaking friends, to simply translate this song it means, I wish my loved ones are here this Christmas.

Yet despite that lack of fashion sense, I definitely am no sloppy dresser either.

I missed reading. I haven't read for months. With an exception to The Maze Runner, which I've read from my phone. But I had to stop halfway because my eyes have been complaining of eye-strain. That means, that novel would have to wait until the next paycheck and I'll purchase the real book instead.

Yep, this is so me.

Anyway, it's Saturday and I finally got time to read uninterrupted. I was too engrossed, I kept on telling myself 'just one more chapter' that I've totally forgotten about dinner. I can't help it. It really feels good to disconnect from the real world and enter another world that could simply bring you mayhem, sadness, happiness, love and so on and so forth.

I just finished reading one and as always, I ended up becoming a victim of emotional trauma from the hands of a paperback. I think regardless of the number of books I've read, I could never get used to it. Books will always stab and wound me, or take me on a high. However it goes, it's an enjoyable experience nonetheless. Yes, I am grabbing another one so that I will have something to blame for my lack of sleep at night again. Haha. Bless my eye bags.

Yesterday, I was supposed to be buying a book for my goddaughter who just turned 15 last Nov. 2. Yep, I was only 14 when I became a godparent. Kaya ngayong sumasahod na ako, kailangan ko ng bumawi. I am really happy she wants to have a book for her birthday. I didn't have second thoughts on buying her one even though I have been avoiding bookstores because whether I'm broke or not, I never got out of there empty-handed. But this time, I decided to step into the bookstore again, keeping in mind that I will only buy what I needed to buy. Much to my dismay, the book that I am looking for isn't available.

I can't help but look around. And just by that, I am well-aware I am losing the battle. There is no way I can fight the urge. One book. Just one book, I thought to myself. Lo and behold! I came out of the bookstore like a child grinning from ear to ear with a bag full of candies, except I was clutching these:

I remember the time when my friend Anne and I went on a ride to Jack's Ridge when I jokingly asked her to give me that cute little tin box from her car's dashboard drawer to which she was hesitant at first and told me she'd give me the Bible instead. I replied, we have a lot of that at home in different versions and translations as a matter of fact. Then she started asking me questions about the Bible to which I promptly and precisely answered. We discussed the Bible to the point that you can tell how much I know so much about the Bible (read it almost cover to cover). I even told her I read the whole book of Revelations, which is my favorite book of all.

She gave me that look of utter disbelief. Well, I couldn't blame her. I am known for being stubborn and mischievous. And being someone who have read the Bible is too far from how they've known me. Don't get me wrong, I just know the Bible - the same way I know my Science lessons. So, it's not what you think it is. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I'm not a devotee, a religious freak or something. But what shocked her the most was when I told her I am a Pastor's Kid (PK).

"PK ka pala? Really?!"

"Oo. Hindi pa ako pinanganak, pastor na papa ko."

"As in?"

"As in."

"Sure ka bai?"

"O, lagi!"

I can't remember how many times I've been to the beach just for 2014. Now, I'm really staying true to what I claim myself to be: a beach bum. Hehe. I just woke up from being knocked out after a whole day of Island Hopping with friends to celebrate my friend, Kevin's birthday (in advance).

I'm actually still at lost for words. My mind isn't fully functional yet.  I guess all that swimming and that dive I did from the top deck of the boat are to blame for that (*cough* excuses * cough*). So I'll just let the photos speak for it. I really don't have a lot of pictures though, some of these were just grabbed from my friends. :)

Kami at ang eskandalosong monopod ni Justin. Ok lang, smile pa rin.

Anyway, this man right here is my bestfriend, my confidant, my mentor, my pingpong coach, my biking buddy, my counselor, my tagasaway na utro pud pasaway, my kilig factory, my panda, my gummy bear (kay makagigil), my pillow, and of course, my inspiration. I hope I did justice to his beautiful face even though I think I overdid the goatee. Haha. :P

I was mindlessly lurking on my Facebook news feed when I suddenly stumbled upon one of my friend's drawings. I stared at it for a long time. Something bothered me. It couldn't be the stroke or the colors or the medium used. It's actually a pretty good drawing. But something is stirring up in my heart, and it's mixture of feelings of anguish, remorse, envy, and then there's a sudden longing.

I realized I terribly miss drawing.

When was the last time that I actually drew something? I don't effin' remember. I haven't been doing vectors and vexels, nor simply draw with a pen and paper for years. Yes, it has been years! I have been stuck. Although at some point, I would draw something, then I suddenly don't want to proceed. I stop and never finish it. The feeling of 'it's not good enough' is holding me back that I just toss whatever I had started and move on as if I haven't done anything.

A few weeks ago an old friend dropped by unexpectedly. He's a regular guest, always coming unannounced.

We had something way back. We were roommates for a varying length of time. I think he's cool. He says I rock in that Taylor Swift raccoon eye make-up. We watched movies together and he loves Harry Potter too. We read books together and we do it all night long. I think he's smart. He always has this way of stimulating my mind. We exchanged ideas from night until morning. He's creative too. Sometimes he fuels my imagination as I've done a lot of artworks with him. I had a lot of fun and memorable experience with him that there are times I would never want him to leave. But he left anyway.

WARNING: IMAGE OVERLOAD

What could be more fun when you go on a trip unplanned? Well actually, we planned this trip two weeks ago. Everything was almost set that we almost booked for a packaged trip: complete with an itinerary, a place to stay, and transportation. What we only have to do is enjoy the trip. Three days later, more than half of our company backed out. So from ten, we went down to four. Haha. Bummer.

The four of us pushed through though. Not sure how exactly we're going to make it since nobody has been to Surigao before. We were only equipped with what other blogs feed us about how to go the Enchanted River and that was it. But we went on as planned: go to Enchanted River and explore Britannia Islands.

Okay, just so you know, I am not a travel blogger. And if I were, I'm not a good one at that. But I will try to be detailed as much as I can (as far as I can remember). What you will read here will be more of our experiences and [mis]adventures during this getaway. I won't promise I'll be generous with words because what I will say will most likely be an understatement, it may or may not convey what we have actually seen, heard or felt. But I'll try my best anyway. And I'll be honest as honest can be. So here goes..

Day 1 - Come What May
We left at 2am from Davao City boarding a bus going to Mangagoy, Bislig City, Surigao, taking us there by 8am. The moment we stepped down the bus, habal-habal drivers approached us asking where are we headed. Took us quite some time to answer because we just realized we don't have an itinerary.

We scoured the map and located all the places we want to go to and discussed then and there what's the best to do to maximize the trip. What would we do without Jan's phone? Haha. We decided to go to Tinuy-an Falls, proceed to Enchanted river, and lastly, stay overnight at Britannia. So after befriending and having negotiations with the drivers, we hailed a habal-habal to take us to our destinations.

First destination: Tinuy-an Falls
Dubbed as little Niagara falls (or something like that), it was more majestic than what I saw on pictures. Stunning. Breath-taking, to say the least. We rented a life vest (optional at 30 pesos each), and enjoyed the cool and refreshing waterfalls.




By 11am, we took off and proceeded to our next destination, the Enchanted River - in hopes of being able to get there on time for the fish feeding at 12noon. But it took an hour and a half of butt-numbing, dusty, windy ride from Tinuy-an to Enchanted. Kaya sayang, di namin naabutan.

Second destination: Enchanted River
A few meters from the spot were vendors selling fresh sea food. Surprisingly, it was cheap. We bought crabs, curacha, and some fishes that I can't identify. We have them cooked, then excitedly went down the river.

The river was surprisingly ummm how do I say it? Not fascinating as I thought it was. I was speechless. Well, in a way that I was a little disappointed. What ran through my mind were the words: is this it? Yep, honestly. Maybe it's just me, or in this case, us. Or maybe because there were so many people that time. Or maybe we were just expecting too much. No. It was already too developed and it was the hordes of people that didn't make the enchanted river so enchanting. But the place is beautiful nonetheless. And yes, it would have been better if there are only few people in there. So if you want to go and enjoy its true beauty, I suggest you do it on weekdays.

Enchanted River

After a few minutes of jumping and diving and swimming, we had the much awaited feast. This.


By 2pm, since there are still a lot of people swimming in the river, we decided to go island hopping then. Renting a boat costs 160 per hour. Thinking that an hour is enough to tour just a few islands after the mouth of the river, we gave it a try. It's cheap anyway. But we were so wrong. We never ever thought the place is teeming with surprises. One stop led to a discovery of one beauty to another. Everything was just so unexpected.

First stop: Pacific View
The beach isn't as awesome as you'd think it is. But still, the place is beautiful and the view of the open sea is so calming. Not bad for a ten-peso entrance fee. :)

Pacific View Resort

Second stop: Sarasosa Cave
Now, this is something that we never expected. What I pictured out when the boat driver told as he'll take us to cave, was just a small cave, where you can just take a little stroll, take pictures here and there, and pronto! you're on the other side. But judging from the picture, do you think it is a small cave?

Definitely not. It took us about 30 minutes to maybe an hour of exploring the dark, challenging yet magnificent cave. I would've gotten a lot of bumps on the head if it wasn't for the hard hat. I'm careless at that. And yep, you could die in there if you aren't too careful. Not exaggerating. You could slip down the slippery rocks and fall down a few feet while sharp rocks wait below. Challenging, yes. And it's an extreme experience for first time spelunkers like us.



Third stop: Sibadan Fish Cage
Have you ever gone swimming with the stingray? We did! Well, we didn't only swim with the stingray, but with sharks, and fishes as big as 2 feet weighing 30 kgs, and a lot more as well. How cool is that? Unfortunately, we didn't have an uber-awesome underwater camera to take photos of that. But hey, we managed to snap our attempt to swim with the stingray. :)

Swimming with the stingray

I don't know whether you should call us bold or just stupid because we were told we are the only ones who attempted to go near the stingray. Well, he no longer has a barb, okay? But we're still careful not to be lashed by its tail. And, he's too cute, especially when he asks for food. Haha.

Feeding the stingray

By 5pm we decided to forego the last list on our itinerary: Explore Britannia Islands. Why? One, because it's already too late to go to Britannia; two, rain is about to fall; three, we think there are just too many beaches we've been to that is pretty much the same as Britannia; and lastly, Sibadan Fish Cage is cool and cheap and it's better than staying in some overrated posh resort. We decided to stay for the night there.

Our intuition not to go to Britannia Islands was right. At night, we had fun watching lightning bolts and thunderstorms. And for dinner, we had barracuda soup. It was so good. Perfect for a cold, rainy night.

Day 2 - Off to More Adventures
Day 2 greeted us with a cool breeze and the calming sound of the waves. It's actually our first time to eat and sleep ON the sea. Yep, Sibadan is a floating resto and lodge. By breakfast we had fresh lobsters and danggit. Okay, this is also one of the reasons why we preferred to stay in Sibadan. Their lobsters are way cheaper (900/kilo) compared to the ones offered in Britannia and yes, we've never tasted one before.

fresh from the sea!

Breakfast doesn't get any better than this. Yummeh!

After breakfast, we decided to go island hopping again. We think the place has a lot of spectacular, almost untouched places to offer, and I don't know why I haven't read any of those from other bloggers.

First stop: Vanishing Island
There's not really a lot to see here, but we had fun running around like we're little kids. Haha.

Kids at vanishing island

Second stop: Margarita
We've been underground. We've been to the sea. Now, we're going on a high land. Nothing beats the feeling of being atop a hill or a mountain overlooking the beautiful view of the sea. If I were to have a beach property, I would want it this way.

Sun-kissed and lovin it!

Third stop: Tinago Islands
Well, this isn't really a stop. We were just touring one island after another, admiring the beauty of nature. It was a relaxing experience.

It was already late when we had our lunch back in Sibadan. We had crabs and maya-maya soup. And as usual, it tastes so great! By the afternoon, we decided to take a rest. I think we've done a lot and gone to too many places in a span of two days.


By dinner, we had kinilaw na danggit and adobong saang, and a sparkling red juice to cap off the night.

Day 3 - Going Back to Reality with a Blast
I woke up to the soothing sound of the waves. Waking up early morning has never been this refreshing and calming. A few minutes later, a few fishermen came in with their fresh catches: crabs, fishes, shells, and whatnot.

We took a little swim and had crabs (again! but a different variety) for breakfast. I don't think we'll ever get tired of eating crabs (even though my allergies started to come out), especially that they tasted so good. Haha. We stuffed ourselves with food to get ready for a long trip back home.

Well that's it. There's actually a lot of fun and funny things that happened. But I don't think I'd be able to send the message across the way it actually has to be delivered. So, we'll just keep it to ourselves.

Best. Trip. Ever.
What I really like about the trip is its spontaneity. Going out of our way to try new and interesting things is always a fantastic experience. Planned trips are good, but unplanned trips are way better.

So what are the perks of unplanned trips? You never know what surprises await you. You don't have to follow an itinerary which means you don't have to worry about time. You don't get stressed when your trip didn't go as planned. You always leave your options open. You take risks which add to the thrill and fun. And best of all, you live for the moment.

We've been living a life where we plan almost everything. Sometimes, a little spontaneity is all we need. Right?

A word of advice
If you're planning to go on an unplanned getaway, I'll tell you one stinging truth: money matters. You never know what's in store for you out there. So you better be prepared. But whatever amount you spent on a trip, I say it's definitely, definitely worth it. :)

If there's one thing I miss about the now defunct social networking site, Friendster, it has to be the testimonials. I was digging my old Yahoomail (yep that one's still alive), and I never thought I'd stumble upon (some of) my Friendster testimonials. Now, I remember saving them before because I printed them for my scrapbook project in college (thank God for that). I read them again and found myself laughing and *sniff* almost crying. Gawd, I just realized I miss a lot of my friends.

Don't you get excited when you get this notification?

Anyway, I'd like to share with you what my friends said about me. You may not be interested about it but I'll post anyway. Who knows? Yahoomail, like Friendster and Multiply, may be blown to oblivion. At least I still have these testimonials saved here on my blog.