Because I am sick and all of my fingers are broken. But if I'm not going to do it now, I'm not going to remember any of it and this will never be written at all. 

This is something that doesn't happen often. Thought about writing this to remind us that we survived this ordeal, we could get used to it, we could do better, and nothing can stop us from traveling (except funds or lack thereof). 

I can't promise that this is going to be a hopeful post or one that turns lemons to lemonades though. It's purely just one of those sh*t happens stories. 

Here goes.

There is a reason why I haven't been posting dancing content on TikTok lately, why my face is getting "rounder" each day, and why we have to hold off or probably let go of our plans to immigrate to Canada (cold weather is a huge trigger).

It's crazy how life can change in a heartbeat.

One minute I'm carrying and pushing around heavy furniture, the next minute I can no longer cut my own nails.

Got this from Kryz Uy's post. I find it a bit relatable (except the being wealthy part), so I thought I'd do the same.

4 years later...

Our marriage so far:

• bought a small home (applied in 2017 but it was turned over a few months after our wedding)
  
• traveled as married couple
• had a baby boy
• learned learning the ropes of parenting
• got a small lot in Samal Island (we'll probably build a little cottage there in the future)
• got one more house and lot
• had a baby girl
• traveled as family
• stayed in love

I have a new pair of shoes!

And it's one of the most beautiful shoes I've ever laid my eyes on.

I know I don't need another one. Call it absurd, a weakness, a toxic trait, or whatever. But shoes do make me happy. Probably because I may have been healing from my "past traumas". You know, the time when we couldn't afford such. Growing up, I've never really owned more than one pair at a time, and it is usually a tad bigger for my feet just so I can use it longer until it gets worn through the soles. 

When I started working, majority of my shoes were from ukay-ukay. I did "splurge" but I would still limit my choices only to the items displayed on the discounted rack and never bought anything more than Php1,000 because that was already a luxury for me.

Jan renewed his driver's license today. I already renewed mine last year so I shared with him my experience to set his expectations—the entire renewal process may take the entire day.

Since his license has already expired, I drove him to the Land Transportation Office (LTO) in the morning. His appointment was at 8am. I decided to leave the car keys with him because I reckon he would be done in the afternoon, and he could just fetch Rhett right after school. Then I took a jeepney on my way back.

I decided to eat breakfast the moment I got home, and just when I was about to take my first bite, I received a message from him.

Much has happened the past weeks. I don't even know where to begin. But I guess, I'll start with the news that we now have two feral toddlers to keep an eye on. 

Our little girl, Isabel, turned one this month. And I know I have already said that we won't be traveling until she turns two. But here I am, creating a toddler-friendly itinerary for our next out-of-the-country trip.

I am sure no one is going to disagree when I say that traveling with a toddler is a pain in the ass. I've seen it, experienced it, and proven it an understatement. Yet, we find ourselves turning a blind eye to the thought that with these feral two in tow, we may never be able to relax—which defeats the purpose of a vacation.

Yes, folks! I still play (with really long breaks in between). And yes, after 1,3xx hours, I am NOT YET DONE. I strongly believe that no Resident Representative (a.k.a Player 1), not one, has ever finished this game. I lost count on how many times I've tore down some parts of my island because new ideas and inspirations always come popping in. And when I "finish", I actually feel the need to start another. The possibilities are so endless!

I have been skinny for as long as I can remember. While I can devour a truckload of burgers and still not gain a pound, being cursed with a metabolism that burns up calories more quickly than I can eat isn't always a good thing. 

I always had trouble finding clothes that fit me well. Size extra small (XS) is not exactly easy to find. Plus size women have a shop and an entire clothing line dedicated for them. But for the petite size? Not much. And I cannot always shop for children's clothes if I want to be taken seriously. 

So, I'd usually end up with these constricting, figure-hugging clothes because it's the only way for me to look womanly and accentuate my low-key curves. If I wear anything loose and comfier, it would be impossible to tell me and a coat hanger apart.

But lately, the baggy fashion is making its way back to the runway and, without a doubt, I immediately jumped into it. Such has always been my thing.

What I wore in our high school class reunion last December 2022. The shirt is medium.

I remember it was summer of 2003 when I created my first blog. I did it out of the need to channel my inner Hulk who gets infuriated at life's slightest inconveniences into something rather creative. Then I got through that teenage angst phase and became mature (surprisingly). Started sharing my opinions—without being pompous, my experiences—the good, the bad, the mundane, and pretty much every minuscule achievement and monumental milestone in my life. I have always thought it's not a bad thing to have something to look back to. 

Perhaps I have not made it very obvious but I've said this before: I am addicted to boots—even if it is something I know I cannot wear regularly here in the tropics.

Anyway, I finally got my very first Dr. Martens! 

Hands down to the coolest, sickest, and most badass shoes I've ever seen.

I love how I can rock the boots with anything.

I don't remember the last time I wrote something serious.  And I think this post will be serious. And long. And unrelatable. And boring. 

And... anyway. 

Let me start this with our daily scuffle: 

I am silently panicking.

I never thought I'd experience a heartbreak far worse than a break up.

I grew up in an era where the concept of Wishlist does not exist. In those days, whenever there is an "exchange gifts" during Christmas parties, the giver carries the burden of gift-giving—one that I carried ever since I started high school.

I was never really a sandal girl. My toes look funny and ugly to be wearing one. But I have always wanted a pair of Birkenstock. They are not exactly attractive but they go well with my manly feet. They are also easy to wear and can go with anything—jeans, shorts, even dresses!

The malls here sell them for more than Php5,000. And each time they go on sale, I would slip one on in hopes that one day I would finally give in and get myself a pair. But every single time, I'd take it off with an expected dismay. Because every single time, it doesn't feel right.

I get it. I pay for the brand and durability. But if I'm paying for something that steep, I would have to pay for comfort as well. At my age, comfort has become my deciding factor for everything. Seats, accommodation, car, clothing, and so on. Apparently, the Birks do not have it. At least, not on the first try.

I settled for different brands that have a similar look to the classic Birkenstock Arizona because they feel much more comfortable. Unfortunately, they didn't last that long.

And then yesterday, strangely enough, I finally own a pair of authentic Birkenstock Arizona sandals. I love them. I've always wanted them. But wearing them for the first time wasn't as magical as it did with my brand new sneakers. (New Balance 574 ftw!) If anything, it was unsurprisingly anticlimactic.

That's Chino, our adopted cat.

When you become a mom, you take on not just one, not two, not even three, but multiple roles. 

As a mom of a teen, toddler, and a baby, I can be a referee, teacher, nurse, storyteller, an entertainer, event planner, a coach, caretaker, driver, repairman. And if I have the whole day, this list can go on forever. And I am not exaggerating.

Of course, the whole world has to know.

Because I feel like a domestic goddess after doing such feat.

And just in case it doesn't happen again.

I don't know if there's a household chore more tedious than folding clothes. I would have seizures just thinking about it. Plus, it requires dexterity and a higher degree of patience to perform such simple task—and unfortunately, I do not possess the latter.

You know what I miss right now? It's waking up early in the morning, then enjoying some freshly-baked pandesal dipped in hot coffee while having a little chit-chat with the family... at the beach.

For almost a week, that's how our mornings were spent during our vacation a few months ago.

At this point, I think I already lost the ability to write. I find it hard to write anything even when there is so much to share the past three months. This is probably the longest time I have been gone—in the blogosphere at least. I would have started this comeback post with an apology for the absence but nobody really notices that, so it doesn't matter.

Anyway, I have gone down the rabbit hole—that is TikTok. And I am still here with no plans of resurfacing soon. I am far too busy watching funny, dancing, and oddly satisfying videos to blog. 

It's crazy how I used to cringe at content made on TikTok and here I am with twenty-seven published videos on the same platform that I loathed so much. Well, what can I say? TikTok saved my life.

In case you are wondering how...

I know it's already a week late for this. But just in case you are wondering if Jan and I are still okay because I have not posted anything on our anniversary—which is very unusual because I do it every single year—yes, we are okay. Very much okay.

It's just that, I TOTALLY forgot about the date. When Jan greeted me, my first reaction was, "was that today?" Haha. I am always the bad guy in this relationship. Plus, I did not have a single second to spare to write about it.

It may not seem like it but, truthfully, I am terrible when it comes to parenting. A lot of moms probably feel the same way, too. It's just that people don't really talk about it.

Unfortunately. 

I don't remember the last time I read a book. 

But right now, I am enjoying this:

"Kamukha ng tatay noh?" 

My Trafalgar Law hoodie arrived a few days ago. It reminded of the first time I had laid my eyes on this badass tattooed doctor with a goatee *gasps*. It was law at first sight. 

I have also been binge-watching and catching up with One Piece lately and I remember the fun times I had with Jan at the Tokyo One Piece Tower three years ago. I feel so bad I wasn't able to blog about it, especially when the only One Piece theme park in the world already closed its doors for good last July 31, 2020 (eff you, corona). 

March 23, 2019.

I thought I would have a long, uninterrupted sleep last night because for the first time in almost two years, I let our toddler sleep with my mom. 

But that much needed rest never happened. I was so uncomfortable with this belly that could pop anytime, the perpetual back pain, the need to pee every fifteen minutes, and the unbearable heat.

But unlike Eve, the devil had nothing to do with it.